Francis

"I'm meant to do something more important than educating children..."

Pompous and insecure, Francis hates what he sees as a demeaning, pointless job. He's always neurotically foisting his made-up problems on anyone who'll listen, including his tutees ("The physical side's good, but I feel like me and Tash just aren't connecting spiritually, if that makes sense?" "No. Can I have another yogurt, please?").

He tries to assert some control over his life by being pedantic, insisting on being referred to as 'Francis', as opposed to 'Frank' or 'Frankie'. He can also be inappropriately competitive with his kids when they question or correct him.

Francis is perpetually terrified of making the wrong choice, so overthinks everything, which invariably leads him to make the worst choice possible. He is never happy doing any one thing, and so will opt to do twenty things very badly. He feels he should be doing something more impressive than tutoring ("I know I'm better than I am!") but has no idea what that might be.

Every week he's got a new project or goal - becoming a sushi chef, writing a novel, joining Anonymous - which he claims to have always been into. Inevitably, he loses interest halfway through but only after he's committed himself well beyond the point of no return.

Alice

"It's such a bore, having to earn money."

Obnoxious, oblivious and privileged, literally nothing bad had happened to Alice until both her parents were jailed for insider trading. Now having to (sort of) work for a living, Alice nonetheless strives to sustain her 'It Girl' lifestyle, and dreams of one day making the front cover of Tatler.

Her only clients are Moira and Jeremy - family friends whose marriage is constantly on the verge of collapse. Despite this cushy arrangement, she still has difficulty adjusting to the concept of a job. Her idea of tutoring is getting the kids to do stuff for her ("today is Maths, so you're going to be filling out my tax return").

Alice is friendly and good-natured, but entirely lacking in self-awareness. She's not a bad person - she's just never been called upon to engage with the real world or consider the views and feelings of others. So, despite being fairly smart, Alice frequently says and does incredibly stupid stuff. She's only dimly aware that her former social set have deserted her and her only friends are the distinctly unglamorous Francis and Neck.

Neck

"You can't spell 'party' without A&E... if you spell 'party' with an 'e'. And who cares about spelling when you're lashed?"

An impulsive waster with zero inhibitions, Neck hasn't woken up in her own bed in over three years - she generally comes to at the last stop on a train line, or some stranger's garden. She's constantly hungover, but somehow unfailingly cheerful and energetic.

Born Nicola, she's known as Neck because of her habit of always necking drinks (a fact she's unabashed about explaining to her employers). Despite her hard living ways, there's an innocence to her - she's not manipulative or hypocritical, and is the only member of the gang who's content with who she is. Unfortunately, "who she is" tends to cause total carnage, which her mates then have to clean up. They put up with this because, while she may be dangerous, she's never dull.

Despite often conducting lessons on MDMA, Neck is by far the best at her job - her kids adore her and have no problem fixing her a Berocca or rolling her into the recovery position. She's also more than happy to dispense extra-curricular advice (how to show someone you fancy them, how to handle yourself in a fight, how to get out of a K-hole).

Paul

The stay-at-home Dad of one of Neck's tutees, Paul keeps trying to hang out with the gang. A former investment banker who retired in his 40s to spend more time with his family, he now severely regrets this decision. Bored and lonely, he's frequently allowed to join in the tutors' escapades, especially if they happen to need his money. He is friendly, if slightly desperate.