Cheep Laughs - Christmas Puns

UK Pun Champion Darren Walsh has written us some festive jokes...

Elf 'N' Safety

Missing Baby Jesus found, but his condition has been described as far from stable.

I heard a sneeze from the chimney. I think Santa's coming down with something.

I promised I'd hand deliver my dog's Christmas present, but I might have to post bone.

Scottish wrapping paper. I guess it's all tartan parcel.

Ebenezer Scrooge went on holiday to Germany, but when he got there, he shouted "Bah, Hamburg".

My sister and I gave my older brother some flight compression socks for Christmas. We put "From Bro/Sis".

Because of last Christmas's damaged goods, Barack Obama is hand delivering his gifts this year. It's unpressiedented.

The Third No L

If you're signing an agreement with Father Christmas, make sure there's a Claus in the contract.

Went to the Twitter office Christmas party, but there was nothing t'weet.

"That bloke is singing christmas carols like an owl" "Hoo, hymn?"

That's Christmas sorted.

Darren's book, 'Cheep Laughs', is packed with 100s of original jokes. It makes for a great gift. Shop

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