One of the rare 'full minute' speeches
As the audience can see I apply make-up only in the dark with a trowel and strimmer. That has suited me for years and provides the look I have made entirely my own. The mahogany cheeks akin to Aunt Sally in the famous children's show Worzell Gummage. The eyes decked with mascara as if a million spiders have lazily walked across my eyeballs. How delightful I look at night when the cold, harsh lamps illuminate the strange stretchy face that has been daubed with make-up. Because I don't understand it. It's not a world I recognise. I know women are supposed to and everything, look shabby and chic at the same time. Nonetheless I require something more of my life than the application of tawdry cosmetics, often tested on poor animals. For me it is a life of the mind. Why paint, decorate the entire time when you could read a book and find about the entire history...Sue Perkins in Series 55, Episode 6
The traditional welcome given by Nicholas Parsons on every edition of the show
And as The Minute's Waltz fades away...Nicholas Parsons
This commment became a catchphrase for Kenneth Williams, who would often go into tantrums. It is in fact a joke, as Great Portland Street is in fact very close to where the show was originally recorded.
I came all the way from Great Portland Street!Kenneth Williams