Radio Times review

He's got a pretty good track record for attracting big Hollywood A-listers onto the show, but there's one person Graham Norton has always wanted to have as a guest. Tonight, his wish is granted - the gorgeous George Clooney is sitting on the sofa opposite him.

One of Hollywood's most prolific actors, Clooney, 54, is here to talk about his latest film, Tomorrowland (a futuristic story about a place caught between time and space where nothing is impossible), but the conversation is bound to turn to his political activism and humanitarian work. And Graham will probably throw in the odd question about his recent marriage to Amal Alamuddin, too.

Joining him on the show are Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson and Snoop Dogg.

Despite being a fully-fledged member of the Grumpies' fan club I bet narrator Geoffrey Palmer and his gang of grouchy celebs are the Christmas guests from hell.

Ronni Ancona will moan that your Jamie Oliver-inspired turkey and cranberry sauce is "basically chicken with jam", Al Murray will tell you to "go away" when you talk to him about the joy of giving (he actually uses stronger language but I'm starting my New Year's resolution a few days early) and Penny Smith will moan that it's all "sentimental claptrap". Donna McPhail will terrify your dog by declaring Christmas is "worse than a puppy because you can't put it in a sack and drown it." And Ozzy Osbourne will consider getting back on his quad bike to avoid the whole thing for a second time. It's "just b******s," he says. Oh damn, there goes my resolution already.

What everyone forgets about Christmas is that it's a gigantic, weird nightmare: the nation syncs up to exchange disappointing gifts and gnaw stuffing that tastes like twice-cooked cardboard. So thank Santa for these curmudgeons - and it's now a mixed-gender complaints fest - who snarl in the face of festive bounty, traditions and gift-giving.

If, like them, you're a proud Grinch, then you'll lap up their guide to all things that people of an older persuasion like to moan about at Christmas.

Sir Cliff's Mistletoe and Wine gets a toasting, as does the implausibly popular culinary combination of turkey with cranberry sauce ("basically, chicken with jam", says Ronni Ancona).

Al Murray writes off "the joys of giving", while Ozzy Osbourne says he was grateful for that near-fatal quad bike accident, because it mean that year he missed Christmas altogether: "It's not good will to all men. It's just b******s." Glad to see his injury didn't dent his legendary articulacy.