Brian Butterfield records debut special and publishes his first book

ExclusiveMonday 13th May 2024, 3:04pm by Jay Richardson

Brian Butterfield. Peter Serafinowicz
  • Brian Butterfield is preparing to release his debut special, recorded during his Call Of Now tour, and is publishing his first book, There's No Business Like BUSINESS!
  • The limited edition book is currently only available at his live appearances
  • "I think that the book's K.M. ('key message') is D.B.A.T.T. ('don't be afraid to try') because T.W.W.O.I.T.E. ('things will work out in the end') and I.T.K.P.P.O.Q. (I'm sorry, but I've forgotten what that acronym stands for)" he said

Brian Butterfield is recording a debut special and publishing his first book, sharing secrets of his business success and business failure, British Comedy Guide can exclusively reveal.

The entrepreneurial maverick, who first came to prominence in 2007 on The Peter Serafinowicz Show, is about to resume his acclaimed Call Of Now tour at the Philharmonic Hall in Liverpool on Tuesday and will be selling limited edition copies of his tome There's No Business Like BUSINESS! at this and future live appearances.

Featuring 'how to' guides, self-help questionnaires, career tips, diary entries, adverts for his businesses, a couple of pages accidentally left blank and much, much more, every business failure has been a lesson learnt for the titan of commerce.

And, as he confusingly suggests in a question and answer session below granted to BCG, he may seek to publish it more conventionally in the future when he's bypassed linear understanding of time. He also shares details of Call Of Now's filming and plans for an unlikely small screen return.

Brian Butterfield: There's No Business Live Business!. Peter Serafinowicz

Was There's No Business Like BUSINESS! subject to a publisher bidding war and if so, why has Brian chosen to put it out with his tour?

HarperCollins and Penguin Random House entered into a very protracted and heated argument, each of them desperate for the other to publish the book. Whilst that debate raged on, I had the chance to re-read my book and I was reminded of a lesson I'd forgotten I'd learnt: a good business person should be not only the content creator, but also the content vendor. E.g. If you're a circus horse dentist, don't just clean circus horses' teeth - be the ringmaster too. And the acrobat, the juggler, the person who coordinates car parking, etc., etc. Also, in an attempt to get it stocked on Amazon book shops, I emailed Jeff Bezos (jeffyb@amazon.com) and he didn't reply.

Does it incorporate his unique grasp of business jargon and acronyms and if so, what are its key messages?

I.C.D. (short for "it certainly does"). I think that the book's K.M. ("key message") is D.B.A.T.T. ("don't be afraid to try") because T.W.W.O.I.T.E. ("things will work out in the end") and I.T.K.P.P.O.Q. (I'm sorry, but I've forgotten what that acronym stands for.)

Is there any reflection upon Brian's attempt to enter the space race?

My bid to enter the space race is highly confidential. As such, I don't like to talk about it - or even write about it. In fact, this entire paragraph should be classified. Can you classify it for me? I don't know how to do that.

What has been Brian's most instructive success? And failure?

It's difficult to pick my favourite success, because quite simply, there aren't really any to speak of. Conversely, it's quite hard to pick a favourite failure - because there have just been so many. The Butterfield Diet has been hugely popular, but unfortunately I completely forgot to monetize it in any way whatsoever, so it's both technically - and actually - another one of my failures.

Might Brian now venture into writing fiction and does he have any ideas for a novel?

Why are you talking about me in the third person as if I'm not here? I am here! But... Yes, I do have an idea for a novel. My business brain algorithms (aka. observations) have spotted that "cosy crime" books are selling rather well. They also say "write what you know". Therefore, I will soon be writing my debut cosy crime novel 'The Thursday Detective Agency'. Based on the time I was a detective (for approximately 36 hours), the story is set in a retirement home, where former master of disguise Bryan Buttonfield (a cleverly fictionalised version of me) solves crimes using his variety of trusted costumes (e.g. Pyramid Worker, Lord Mayor's Croupier).

How much is the book?

I only had enough money to pay for twenty copies to be printed. To break even, I will need to sell each one for £692.50. I won't be carrying change, so please bring the exact amount in coins.

Brian Butterfield. Peter Serafinowicz

Might it be published more conventionally at a later date?

I can only confirm that it won't be published more conventionally at an EARLIER date. Barring the invention of time travel, which I am working on.

Will your tour be recorded?

My seminar at London's Eventim Apollo will be recorded by colour film cameras (at least, I hope they're colour ones) and made available to download at some future date once I've cleared two megabytes of memory from my PC hard drive. For posterity, the other seminars will be recorded by courtroom artists.

Any plans for you to appear back on television or radio, beyond promo spots such as your recent appearance on Talksport?

I do have plans to be back on the BBC very soon. However, sadly, the BBC are completely unaware of those plans. Put simply - I plan to be the new host of The Apprentice. You see, back in the 1970s Lord Sir Alan Sugar was my apprentice. I took him under my wing and taught him every single thing I knew about business. Then, at our mid-morning coffee break on that first day, he fired me. It was justified. He went on to take over my computer company Brianstrad, dropped the "Bri" and changed the "n" to an "m". Strictly speaking, his TV show should be called The Apprentice's Apprentice. I'm simply looking for business justice.

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