Christopher Beanland
Published: Tuesday 3rd June 2025
One random comedian, eight random questions; it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate.
This week that person is Christopher Beanland, a busy travel writer and author who decided to swap sitting at laptops for doing stand-up and exploring leafy urban spaces. The latter became the podcast Park Date, which recently celebrated 50 episodes of Chris strolling al fresco with comedy people. What are his favourite park/person moments, so far?
"I've had some real high points - like hanging out with Mark Thomas in a graveyard, birdwatching with Liz Guterbock, eating M&S sarnies with Alex Haddow and giving Harriet Kemsley an S Club 7 DVD in Brockwell Park, a moment I know she will never forget."
Don't stop moving, that's the modern Beanland motto. As for stand-up, he's about to reach for the stars with an Edinburgh Fringe debut, sort of, as that could-be-ominous first hour will be shared, which sounds sensible.
"I'm doing a show with the wonderful and much better than me Claire Cox called Chaos In The Avocado Aisle - 99 Middle Class Problems," he explains. "We are here for anyone who sits by the lido pondering supermarkets, supper clubs, Bergerac (the TV show), oat milk brands, Chappell Roan, horses, dogs, trains, schools, Bake Off, Grand Designs, air fryers and weird stuff like getting banned from Kazakhstan (don't ask)."
Taking you to places that you've never been before baby now: Christopher Beanland, your Random 8 await.
Who was your first celebrity crush (and ever met them)?
The Cadbury's Caramel bunny. I met her at Cadbury World in Birmingham's glamorous Bournville but it was a slightly surreal and ultimately disappointing experience for my 12 year-old self. I think the Mini Egg chicken was there too, the big purple fella.
Which place you've visited was the biggest anti-climax?
Chichen Itza in Mexico. Rubbish - there's a million market stalls selling tatty souvenirs and ciggies to American tourists. I love that English Heritage's castles do not have hundreds of stalls selling plastic lightsabers and Slush Puppies surrounding them. But I had fun driving the rental car there - basically I gave a fat guy in a Deftones T-shirt 20 US Dollars and he handed me the keys to his car, complete with Bimbo cake wrappers in the glove box.
Do you have a signature dance move?
One finger in the air.
What's your favourite building?
I'd like to buy The Bierpinsel (the 'Beer Brush') in Berlin and live in it. It's an old 70s nightclub attached to a highway flyover that looks like exactly the kind of place David Bowie would have hung out at in the 1980s and it's on the cover of a book I wrote about car culture that's just come out. It's so weird.
Ever met a particularly great or awful famous person?
Nasty Nick from Big Brother was trying to rebrand himself as a travel writer back when I was doing a lot of that. It was, I think, in Iceland to go and see Yoko Ono do something? This might all be a weird dream. I once did some material about this story and - now it's coming back to me - I'm thinking this should be a bigger part of my Edinburgh show actually...
But we weirdly bonded, he got emotional at Luton Airport at the end of the trip, as you do, gave me his number and he was ringing me at night for chats. I still have his number. He wasn't nasty at all, just a little lost.
Your greatest gatecrash?
Oh God, people will probably say - after I'm dead, I hope - that I've done this a lot. It's not a sense of entitlement, just a democratic impulse, I guess, that everyone (with nous of course) should be allowed in to stuff. What can I admit to here though?
Maybe a dentists' conference free booze afterparty at a hotel in Toronto with some friends? We did an improv course at Second City the next day and every time the teacher asked us for any idea or suggestion of a situation or theme we all said something teeth-related or 'at the dentists'.
The teacher was getting quite pissed off at our collective orthodontic monomania.
Your most embarrassing moment?
Getting banned from Kazakhstan.
What's the worst thing in your wardrobe?
An old printer. But clothes-wise I think it's probably my black parade of emo band t-shirts. As a massive music fan and sometime music journo in my youth I love that John Robins performs wearing band t-shirts and have sort of nicked that (thanks John) but I'm not sure how much wearing a Red House Painters, American Football or The Promise Ring t-shirt improves my reception when I'm doing stand-up gigs.
Christopher Beanland and Claire Cox: Chaos In The Avocado Aisle - 99 Middle Class Problems is at Brewdog, Lothian Road, Edinburgh, from August 2-9. EdFringe.com
And the Park Date podcast is here: parkdate.co.uk
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