INT. PETROL SERVICE STATION - NIGHT

CUSTOMER ENTERS AND WALKS UP TO THE TILL

CUSTOMER
Pump 6 please.

CUSTOMER puts his credit card on the counter

ATTENDANT picks up credit card and looks at it as he puts it in the chip and pin machine.

POV of ATTENDANT - Name on credit card: Dr T Stockton

ATTENDANT
Doctor eh?

CUSTOMER nods

ATTENDANT
It's just that I've been getting these shooting pains in the back of my neck.

ATTENDANT puts hand to neck and rubs it.

CUSTOMER
Ah, actually, I'm a Doctor of Philosophy

ATTENDANT
Oh.
ATTENDANT looks down and the chip and pin machine (beat) looks back up.

Why are we here?

I like this one Pablo.

I don't think the written word does it justice though and think that with a good acting performace timing wise from the attendent, with him doing the pause before the gear change punch line, (which is how I understand it to be) then that would show it to be so much better.

Cheers iamazed!
You're right of course, half arsed acting wouldn't cut it and there'd need to be a bit of emphasis on the word 'are'.

i liked it, but i think it would be much better if the attendant said something like
"i have a nasty, itchy rash on my chest" then lifts his/hers (it would be better with a her) shirt up, this would make it more awkward for the attendant and for the doctor, plus if there was a que in the station it would be a lot more visually funny, but these are just my thoughts but as i said i liked this one

I really enjoyed it but think a more complexly-worded question from the attendant would make it slightly better...

===============

CUSTOMER
Ah, actually, I'm a Doctor of Philosophy

ATTENDANT
(LAUGHS) Oh, sorry I see. (PAUSE). Can anything truly be described as simply 'good' or 'evil' or is everything just shades of grey in this context?

CHIP & PIN MACHINE BEEPS LOUDLY.

ENDS.

===============

Just a suggestion, though, I really enjoyed it as it was

Appreciate the input guys, and Scott T, I think you're right - how about this (more focused ending):

CUSTOMER
Ah, actually, I'm a Doctor of Philosophy

ATTENDANT
Oh.

ATTENDANT LOOKS DOWN AT THE CHIP AND PIN MACHINE (BEAT) LOOKS BACK UP
Isn't the fundamental existential paradox of being human that although human reality is an outcome of chosen ends, the ends are taken by the very choosers as transcendences, limiting their projects as external forces?

CUSTOMER - TURNS TO FACE CAMERA
Hell is other people.

CHIP & PIN MACHINE BEEPS LOUDLY.

I like the new ending-and agree poor acting wouldnt do it justice-it just wouldnt work

Yeah, like it

Yes - good more interesting new ending. I like it too (not that I'm fishing for votes or anything).

Dissenting voice says: I liked the first version very much, but I think the later one is overcomplicated. The latter also involves the attendant acting out of character (as much as this can be established). We can all believe an attendant asking "Why are we here" but not what he says in the newer version.

I like simple. Original is simpler, and also ends rather neatly I think.

Hey Badge! Thanks for that. I suppose the second version makes it less of a 'conventional' sketch and more of a self-aware/knowing version - in so much as the Customer faces the camera to deliver the last line.
I now prefer the revised version - I dunno if that's because the original version has been in my head for so long: I thought of it during a night shift whilst serving a doctor in a petrol station.
Yes reader, I was that man.

Quote: Badge @ March 9, 2007, 12:31 AM

The latter also involves the attendant acting out of character (as much as this can be established). We can all believe an attendant asking "Why are we here" but not what he says in the newer version.

View original

That's exactly why I like it. Out of character is funny in my book. The doctor is acting in a believable way, so that's our 'anchor'. If everyone was believable we would just be eavsdropping on two regular people.

Fair enough.
I just thought it was abit over-egged in the newer version. I don't think you can get a more deep philosophical question than "why are we here" anyway, and that's one of the things I liked about it.

Damned good sketch, especially with the new ending (slightly trimmed). Like it.

Thanks Fred! And I know there's now more to it Badge, but I feel it's also more focussed with the existential/Sartre theme. Plus, breaking down the fourth wall is always fun if you can get away with it.