Comedy phrases you use round the house. Page 3

I've got a good mind to give you a ruddy good punch on the bottom for what you just said.

Quote: MrsLogicFromViz @ 17th August 2023, 11:04 AM

Oh dear, I do seem to have inadvertently kicked the hornet's nest in regard to your surname, which I honestly thought was a stage name.

There's also an English comedian called Roger Monkhouse! I don't think he's related to Bob either though.
There are more amusing Monkhouses than you can shake a stick at!

... And this is where some c**t can't resist it and makes some spiteful, sub-Kindergarten quip about how Bob and Roger are awesome while I am total and utter f**king shit. Thought I'd save them the trouble and get it out of the way myself.

Can I shake a stick at you too?

The etymology of surnames is interesting. Surnames like 'Drinkwater' and 'Goodenough' make me imagine life in Medieval England. Monkhouse is interesting because the origin of that could be anything.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 17th August 2023, 9:53 AM

When there is an unintended consequence of some action - "they will do these things" (Mr Grimes in the film & subsequent TV & radio series Brothers in Law}}

When someone is talking loudly in public on his mobile phone - "He'll get mastiffs in his ears" (Pike in Dad's Army}

When someone suggests something impractical - "Do you think that's wise?" (Dad's Army} or "I think you're entering the realms of fantasy there" (ib)

To anyone with an appointment for a blood test or similar - "A pint - that's very nearly an armful" (Hancock)

When something has been mixed up - "You've got all the right (whatever) but not necessarily in the right order" (M&W)

I've got some Hancocks too ."As soon as I've finished this, I shall recommend they ban it." and "I've got friends all over the world. None in this country but friends all over the world."

Quote: Oscar Abitmiffed @ 17th August 2023, 11:25 PM

"I've got friends all over the world. None in this country but friends all over the world."

Good line re amateur radio, and a perfect vision of the digital world.
Look, I said something positive.
There was also a shop in the North of England, Monkhouse And Son. It was shit.
People often ask about my surname cos Bob was so well-known and it's so rare (if you're called Harrison, people don't go, George!!!!!!!!!!!) and my hobby is stand-up. I don't mind if they're genuinely interested and not making a hilarious joke. The truth is that the relation is extremely distant and not blood (it's through my step-father), so it doesn't count.
I often use that fact to break the ice at parties. The long winter nights fly by.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 17th August 2023, 9:53 AM

When there is an unintended consequence of some action - "they will do these things" (Mr Grimes in the film & subsequent TV & radio series Brothers in Law}}

When someone is talking loudly in public on his mobile phone - "He'll get mastiffs in his ears" (Pike in Dad's Army}

When someone suggests something impractical - "Do you think that's wise?" (Dad's Army} or "I think you're entering the realms of fantasy there" (ib)

To anyone with an appointment for a blood test or similar - "A pint - that's very nearly an armful" (Hancock)

When something has been mixed up - "You've got all the right (whatever) but not necessarily in the right order" (M&W)

A couple that I omitted from my original list that reared their ugly heads over the weekend:

When someone has, or wants, just one of something (eg spoonful of sugar) - "Just the one, Mrs Wembley?" (On the Up)

and of course (how could I have forgotten?):

By way of greeting before midday - "Morningtons" (The Sun Trap)