British Comedy Guide

Magnum Farce

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Teddy Paddalack

  • Monday 7th June 2021, 6:08pm [Edited]
  • Everton, England
  • 3,470 posts

Monaco a sunny day in the billionaires paradise and an electric Ferrari dealership is selling new ones like hot cakes.

Further down from the dealership near the hair pin bend that features in the Grand Prix. A young woman with a baby in a wrap is attempting to cross the road and is nearly hit by the silent car.

A policeman is nearby, and he talks firmly to the driver and then then thinks for a moment before pointing at an ice cream cart,
The man pushing the ice cream cart is wearing an Everton top under his white jacket.

The side of the cart reads MAGNUM LOLLY ICES 1000 Euros

The Ferrari drives over and buys a Magnum off the Ice cream man and then drives over to a car park.

A man has been watching this then walks over to the ice cream seller and speaks to him in a thick Scouse accent.

MAN
Hello lad you're not a Scouser as well, are you?

ICEY
Born and bred!

MAN
I can't believe you've just sold a lolly ice for a grand.

The man in the white jacket politely moves the man out of his line of sight as he speaks.

ICEY
I did and I'm about to sell another one.

As he speaks another brand new electric Ferrari comes around the hair pin bend and nearly hits the woman with the baby. Again, the policeman sees it and points to the ice cream cart and the Ferrari drives over and buys a Magnum off the ice cream seller and then parks his car across the street .

MAN
What's the score here lad, a grand for a Magnum?

ICEY
All day mate this lot are loaded they have no idea how much lolly ices cost and most of them don't even eat them either.

The ice cream man points to the car park and the floor of it is littered with puddles of melting Magnums.

MAN
What the f**ks going on?

ICEY
Watch here's another one!

Another Ferrari just misses the woman and the baby, and the policeman stops the car.

MAN
What the f**k are you up to?

Just then the last Ferrari that bought a Magnum drives off the car park over the road only now it is making a loud clicking sound, Thanks to the lolly ice stick in its rear wheel.

The man laughs as he gets onto the scam.

MAN
I suppose the cops in on it as well?

ICEY
Who do you think paid for the Magnums and the doll my girlfriends carrying ?

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gappy

  • Monday 7th June 2021, 6:18pm
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,193 posts

Sorry, can't fathom this out at all.

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Teddy Paddalack

  • Monday 7th June 2021, 6:56pm [Edited]
  • Everton, England
  • 3,470 posts

Sorry Gappy thanks for the read the idea is that they are being told by the policeman to use a lolly ice stick in their back wheel like kids on a bike so that people can hear the car coming.

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gappy

  • Monday 7th June 2021, 7:11pm
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,193 posts

Got you. Doesn't work for me I'm afraid. Can't win them all.

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Teddy Paddalack

  • Monday 7th June 2021, 8:04pm [Edited]
  • Everton, England
  • 3,470 posts

It;s more something that amused me and you're right I can't hit a coconut every time but thanks for taking the time to read it
:(

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gappy

  • Monday 7th June 2021, 8:08pm
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,193 posts

No problem, TP :)