Reverse Advice

As you may know I'm off on Thursdays and I often take to musing. Anyway ten minutes ago I reckoned that everyone is capable of coming up with a proverb of their own, so I had a go myself .
While a came up with a few, the catchiest one sounds great but I'm not sure what message it would relay ? And I think it deserves one. Any help?
Here's the Proverb

'You have to open a window first
if you want to chase a cat out of your house!'

Also are there any other 'Personal Proverbs' out there?

Don't stand behind me when I'm farting.

Thats more 'Practical advice' mate , remember you have Yorkshire DNA so while your advice is 'Sage' It needs more 'Onion' See I just did another one!
I wonder what the f**k that means?

Anyway Ste its nice to get a reply as its been so quiet on here all morning. To be honest 2 minutes before you posted this reply I was thinking of going outside and playing footy against the garage wall.

A boxer who places a carrot in each lughole will never acquire cauliflower ears.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 31st October 2019, 2:13 PM

Thats more 'Practical advice' mate , remember you have Yorkshire DNA so while your advice is 'Sage' It needs more 'Onion' See I just did another one!
I wonder what the f**k that means?

Ooh ahh, that be an old sayin' round these 'ere parts..................

"A wise man (sage) knows in his head (onion) not to stuff all and sundry (social circle)"

Herc I admire the attempt it we're decent like , and I imagine that you dress like Don Revie. But putting the stuff in brackets like that is border line Sesame Street.

I believe this is of Aboriginal origin.

If you see a possum about a tree,
Stand well back,he's going to wee.

Not bad but with a language that remains untainted since it originated I would have though they come up with better than that after 20,000 years.

There is one
""May as well be here, we are as where we are."

which is very similar to what the Tommies sang in the trenches

"We're Here Because We're Here"

Thats a better one in fact seeing as you're over there John, here's one I've just made up that you can tell them.

Uluru may have three Ewe's
But it can only ever have one Ram.

Never get a goat stoned in an Ann Summers shop.

"That's the way the mop flops" - A family saying

"Dead hamsters don't bounce" - completely made up.

I like the dead hamster one a lot if, its almost scientific .

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 31st October 2019, 4:16 PM

Herc I admire the attempt it we're decent like , and I imagine that you dress like Don Revie. But putting the stuff in brackets like that is border line Sesame Street.

You can go off people you know. :P And as for Don Revie, I can't find vile enough words to describe him.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 31st October 2019, 10:59 PM

I like the dead hamster one a lot if, its almost scientific .

Almost any mock saying works with a 'dead hamster' in it' -

"Dead hamsters don't squeal"

"Never turn your back on a dead hamster"

"A dead hamster means a still wheel"