Wake up you beggars its...

...not shrew-hung love dwarf Keith Chegwin luckily but rather me, Candice Hetler.

I joined today and thought i should check in before hijacking this comedy plane and steering it into the World Spade Centre in Skegness.

I write large dollops of steaming mediocrity for another 'alleged' comedy site but thought it was time to upgrade. And here i am in all my cross eyed glory.

Expect a variety of nonsense from myself, mostly half baked and gin induced.

Am enjoying reading other people's stuff now and will post up some of my own efforts in due course.

Much soggy love.

Candice.

You sound intresting...but keep away from my drinks cabinet.

I'm the warm and friendly one. But I got here first so I'm the welcome Wagon.

Welcome

Skegness you say? Hmmm....

And Hello

Soggy love!? What does that entail?! And can i get some!?

Welcome

a jiffy bag full is winging its way to you as we speak.

Yey!

Soggy love. Is that a euphemism for something else? Hi and welcome Candice.

Hi Candice (wasn't there a 'Candice' in S.O.T.L?). Welcome to the BSG. You sound pretty nuts so should fit in well. I presume you are of the female persuasion but it can be difficult to tell here! I'm an ex Clapham lap dancer see.

I remember you Mike..

Welcome Candice, I can only assume with a name like that you must be some exotic continental temptress... and you're from Ske-g'ness which I think is the exclusive part of Monaco, ain't it??

Welcome to BSG...

Welcome Candice!

Good moaning!

(Well, it's not. But hellloooooooo anyhoo. )

Aloha from Kitschville. Wipe ya feet, leave ya shoes by the door and have a cookie.

Hello Can dice. Have you got a pair in a tin?

Good morrow; may your days be monthly and your years follow all the better trends.

Or is it ice in a can?