British Comedy Guide

Short Funny Love Poems

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George Stanworth

  • Friday 2nd September 2016, 5:31pm [Edited]
  • Hemel Hempstead, England
  • 12 posts

Hi all,

I am a comedy poet and below are two of the 64 poems from my new book called 'Short Funny Love Poems' (To be published late September.)

I LOVE YOU LIKE...
'I love you like a swear word loves to duet with Adele.
I love you just like Eminem loves singing J'Mapelle.
I love you like a selfie with the Queen or Mr T.
I love you like a parking space that's absolutely free.

I love you like the alphabet and numbers love their order.
I love you more than antique dealers love to meet a hoarder.
I love you like a cursor loves to flash upon the screen,
I love you like misfortune loves to follow Mr Bean.

I love you more than lots of things. I think that's pretty clear;
so can I be rewarded with a pay increase this year?'

THE MASSAGE
'You rubbed on me some 'Kerrygold'
then 'Flora' for some luck.
I had a funny feeling
you were buttering me up.

Other poems include 'I Love You More Than Star Trek', 'Will You Still Love Me In Top Shop?' and 'Don't Tell Your Date She Looks Like Noddy'

www.shortfunnypoems.co.uk

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Frankie Mildly Perturbed

  • Thursday 6th October 2016, 7:42pm [Edited]
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5,495 posts

Nice, I have a similar one:

HOW DO YOU ASK

Her father's always, Sir Bertrand..
And her mother's name's Hermione
So how'd you ask a girl called Jemimah
If she'll take it up the arse..

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Tiggy

  • Thursday 6th October 2016, 8:25pm
  • Reading, England
  • 176 posts

Ode To Rachel Riley by Tiggy Darling

Thou art dead lovely Rachel Riley
Because you face is always smiley
Even more than the Minogue: Kylie
I'm sure you don't live in Filey
But if you did I'd rate it highly
You're very clever, smart and wiley
You wear nice clothes in a sexy stylee
I'm sure your bottom isn't piley
I really love you Rachel Riley

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Simon The Mighty

  • Monday 14th November 2016, 3:26pm
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 77 posts

'If I win the lottery, you won't see a lot of me'. That's an anti-love song, lol.