British Comedy Guide

Do we really need train drivers?


comedywriter dude

  • Monday 29th February 2016, 8:54am
  • Australia
  • 225 posts

do we really need train drivers?

Nice segway right from the last penis joke

(audience laughs)

I mean in the olden days theyd have to pull this tonk that, now
the only thing a train driver has to do is stay away to press one button

No actually we do need train drivers any train drivers in the audience?

No well if a guy put his hand up , I'd say your job is safe forever

think about it its the only job that has survived and will survive threw technology

think about it why havn't they replaced train drivers?

there will be flying cars , they replacing check out chicks with machines with that chick who I know when she goes shopping loves here own voice.

Imagine if your the chick that does the voice on those personalised checkouts

looks around, heythat's me. right

Yer but one button, his one job, don't forget to press that one button to make sure your awake

speed addicts line up for that job, employee of the month

no what I'm saying.



  • Monday 29th February 2016, 12:14pm
  • North London, England
  • 5,850 posts

That's all gobble-de-gook to me.



  • Saturday 5th March 2016, 2:31pm
  • Coventry, England
  • 146 posts

I didn't really understand this one. Seems to be about train drivers and then switches to automated check out machine voices. The joke you are going for seems to hinge on women loving the sound of their own voices? Also you refer to women as "chicks". Both of these make the monologue seem quite old fashioned to me.


Jerf Roberwitz

  • Wednesday 20th April 2016, 4:12pm
  • Fleet, England
  • 592 posts

Comedy Dude, it has to be admitted, you are trying, but I would guess the funniest thing you've ever written is your Australian visa application.
Try writing in your first language, it might be easier to understand.
Top marks for effort.