A man walks into a newsagents with a rabbit under his arm and a bunch of carrots sticking out of his jacket pocket.

The woman behind the counter is clearly an animal lover and speaks directly to the rabbit in a cute voice.

WOMAN
"Who's a lovely little thing eh? I wonder what Mr Rabbit is having for tea?"

The man ignores the woman's fluffy approach to his rabbit

MAN
"Can I have two litres of cider, six cans of Stella, twenty Benson & Hedges and
a pack of cigarette papers!"

The woman is a little surprised at the abruptness of the man; she recovers and gets the items as she returns she once more addresses the rabbit.

WOMAN
"Is Mr Rabbit having cawoots for his tea then?"

The man once more completely ignores the woman

MAN
"Have you got any porn magazines?"

WOMAN
"We don't stock pornography!"

The man pays for the goods and starts to leave the shop as the woman speaks in a concerned voice

WOMAN
"You're going to do something really horrible to that rabbit aren't you?"

MAN
"Oh yes!"

Very nasty & faintly depressing.
Effective writing, though.

Cheers, I didn't know if that one would work to be honest.

I disagree. I think there is something in it, but maybe if the man was like a monty phyton type nutter, i.e. the kind of one's Palin was great at doing. I don't mean over the top but slightly comedic.
I guess this could be achieved by a good actor and facial expressions, props etc..
Maybe it's a sketch that would rely more on the visuals to get it over because the punch is quite good if you think of it as described.
Re: The rabbit guy (Tom) in Father Ted "I'll take care of them father" 
Well done, you have a prolific output

I see him more as tattooed chav type.
I love Monty Python but have no interest in copying their style its classic but also dated if you know what I mean.

No I didn't mean copying. I meant if the feeling was that it was a bit too harsh you could introduce something along those lines.
I liked it as it was, sort of a C4 late night sketch show feel to it.

For me it requires something more another element

Perhaps the Porn mag should be Bunny Boilers monthly

and the Assistant says something even more shocking at the end

'Can I have the lucky paw?"

I like a twist or the unexpected but that's just me. Good luck

APS

I disagree. Normallay I don't think you can have too many micro-gags, twists and references in a sketch, but the beauty of this is that's it's an anti-joke. It's built for a punchline that never comes, and the void is filled by deadpan disgust.

I like it.

Quote: gappy @ September 13 2012, 7:31 PM BST

I disagree. Normallay I don't think you can have too many micro-gags, twists and references in a sketch, but the beauty of this is that's it's an anti-joke. It's built for a punchline that never comes, and the void is filled by deadpan disgust.

I like it.

View original

I guess it depends on context. But how many times are the audience going to sit there saying

" Oh yeah yar, what a wonderful anti-gag"

As long as your live in Tumbridge Wells you should be fine..

APS

Good title but the sketch didn't live up to it.

I thought this was going to be about rabbits on barbiturates

I assume he is going to shag it, and/or kill it?

By the way, do bestial types care about gender? The male animals often look more colourful (robins have got the red chest, and that).

Quote: Punk Anarcho @ September 13 2012, 9:04 PM BST

As long as your live in Tumbridge Wells you should be fine..

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Trying to work out what this means.

Yeah the title is good.
You could use that again for a sketch about rabbits getting bad acid at an Art Garfunkel concert, e.g. flashbacks during "Bright Eyes"
Man, What a trip!

I don't know, I went there once and all I saw was Nigel Mansell.

Quote: Marc P @ September 14 2012, 8:49 AM BST

Trying to work out what this means.

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It means he can't spell "Tunbridge"