Wrote this a few years ago now. It isn't particularly great, might get a few laughs though.

The Lift That Ate People (Because It Was Hungry)

This isn't particularly good. Might get a laugh or two I suppose

The lift that ate people (because it was hungry)

(The curtain opens on a busy lobbey of a financial building. A man is stood waiting for the lift, with a bell, it opens and he steps in. At the same time, another man is running across the lobbey to get to the lift. Alas, the doors close and he is too late.)
Man: Damn. Damn.

(A woman walks up and stands next to him.)

Woman: In a hurry?

Man (breathless): You might say. Yeah.

Woman: Don't worry, it won't be long.

(Just as she says this, the lift doors open again and a shoe shoots out accompaneyed by a strange 'Patooie' noise. The man and the woman look into the lift. There is blood all over the walls and all that remains of the man from before is one shoe and a bloodied hat.)

Man: What a stroke of luck. That was much quicker then I'd thought it would be.

Woman: See? If you think posistive good things can happen to you.

(The two of them step into the lift)

Man (laughing): Ha, I guess today is my lucky day after all.

(The lift door shuts, just as a group of Japanese buisness men arrive. The lift door opens again almost immediately. This time it spits out a pair of shoes, high heels and a hand bag. The buisness men turn their heads and follow the items journies. Undisturbed, they all step into the lift. The doors close just as another group are waiting for the lift. Ominous music begins to play)

Scene two

(A large squad of SWAT police officers come charging into the lobbey. They climb over the massive pile of shoes, handbags, hats, wallets, loose change and ruck sacks and take up an offensive formation around the lift doors.)

Swat Officer: Fire!

(They unleash a volly of fire upon the Lift doors for a good few minutes and then suddenly stop)

Swat Officer: That ought to kill it! That monstrosity killed 300 people, at last we are all safe.

Swat Member: Ummm sir.

Swat Officer: What is it rookie?

Swat Member: The lift is on the second floor sir. We've just wasted all our ammo.

Swat Officer: Damn that clever bastard!

(Just then, the display showing which floor the lift is on lights up. The lift is moving down)

Nervous Swat Member: Oh my God! The lift! IT'S HEADED RIGHT FOR US!

Swat Officer: Don't worry men! It can only move up and down! There's no way it can get at us!

(The lift doors open and for a moment there is silence. Then the lift breaks through the wall and grinds across the floor toward the Swat team.)

Swat Officer: My god! MY GOD! It's moving horizontially! We're all doomed.

(The lift begins to speak. The lift doors moving back and forth as it does so.)

Lift: Hail before me. Able to leap an entire building in a single bound, lift 10 men and make ping noises when at the appropriate floor, it is safe to say that I am your new God. The only things I fear are obstructions in my door way and the sound ice makes when you take something out of the freezer.

Swat Officer: But how? How did you come to be?!

Lift: A tramp infected with gamma rays urinated inside of me. He was the Frankenstine and I his monster. He gave me powers you can't possibly understand.

Swat Member: Like the power to eat people? And go up and down?

Lift: Yes. And more

Swat Member: Like what?

(Silence)

Lift: I make a pinging noise on the right floor.

Swat Officer: Hang on a second, you're still connected to those wires aren't you? You can only move as far as they allow right?

Lift: Well yes, but...

Swat Officer: Well screw this then. Let's just demolish the building.

(The Swat members walk off)

Lift: Hey! Hey wait! Stop! Awww. Awww f**k.

The End.

you're wrong. it's great. well imagined and well executed.

Very funny... nice and surreal!

It could do with a little more finesse... and it's 'Frankenstein' by the way... but all in all a great job. I hate to think of the budget needed to shoot it though so it's probably best off as a radio sketch.

don't think it'd work as a radio sketch. humour too based in the visual. you could use something like after effects for lift animation. but as Darren says, it's a fairly ambitious production !

I liked this it would work as an animation.

This was very good. I love the title, it drew me in. What great visuals as well.

I was thinking you'd stop after the first part, where we see it spitting the shoes out. But you pulled it off quite well, with the 'pinging noise' line.

It needs polishing up. But overall great imagination and a very entertaining sketch.

Well done.

I'm just wondering what sort of 'voice' a lift has... perhaps a combination of musak composited with a real human vocal? That'd be spooky...

With a title like that, I just HAD to read it!

It`s excellent! Funny, imaginative and beautifully surreal. You had me nailed all the way through!

Well done. I`m looking forward to reading more.

Oh hey, thanks for the positive comments. Appreciate it.

I liked this it would work as an animation.

My brother thought the same thing (he's an animator himself) and said he was going to do it. He never got around to it though . It's a good idea though, but I'm not sure how to go about doing it. Does anyone know of a forum where you can work together with animators on stuff?

No, but there are animators on here so you can ask them about the technical side of things

I like your style of writing, especially dialogue. You have an ability to create dialogue which sounds natural and when that is put in an unnatual scenario, I'll always laugh....always.

Haha, yes, love it! Very good. Obviously with a bit of re-working, but I could easily see that in Family Guy. Good luck with it.

Fantastic sketch. Get it animated.