This is one of the sketches created by Dan Ryder and myself.
A man walks down the street and goes into a pub. Cut to a shot where the whole pub can be seen. It is called 'An English Pub'. Cut to inside where the man goes to the bar.
MAN: Hello, can I have...
ENGLISH BARMAN: You're barred!
MAN: What?
ENGLISH BARMAN: You can't get a drink in here unless you start the first sentence with 'Alright mate', have a skinhead and wear a England shirt at all times. Get out!
The man walks out. Fade out and back in to the man walking down a similar street and goes into a pub. Cut to the whole of the pub where the title 'An Irish Pub' can be seen. Cut to inside where the man goes to the bar.
MAN: Hello, can I have...
IRISH BARMAN: You're barred!
MAN: What?
IRISH BARMAN: You can't get a drink in here unless you start the first sentence with 'Top o' the mornin' t'ya' even if it isn't the morning and you have to wear green at all times. Get out!
The man walks out. Fade out and back in. The same process is repeated. This time the pub is called 'A Welsh Pub'. Cut to inside where the man goes to the bar.
MAN: Hello, can I have...
WELSH BARMAN: You're barred!
MAN: What?
WELSH BARMAN: You can't get a drink in here unless you start the first sentence with 'Alright boyo' and wear a red rugby shirt with the dragon on at all times. Get out!
The man walks out. Fade out and back in. This time the pub is seen first with the title 'A Scottish Pub'. Cut to inside where the man is wearing all tartan, a kilt, a ginger wig and is carrying bagpipes.
MAN: (ATTEMPTING A SCOTTISH ACCENT) Hello, can I have...
Everyone in the pub turns and stares at the man.
SCOTTISH BARMAN: Now that's just racist.
FADE OUT:
