Hypnotist- Sketch
INT. THEATRE. NIGHT
A HYPNOTIST HAS A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE ON STAGE AND IS ABOUT TO HYPNOTISE HIM. HE IS HOLDING A VENTRILOQUIST’S DUMMY.
Hypnotist
Now, I want you to look deep into Mr Monkey’s eyes. Relax and imagine Mr Monkey… You are about to enter Mr Monkey’s mind… You are about to become Mr Monkey…Now… You are Mr Monkey.
Now ladies and gentleman, Alan here has become Mr Monkey. He now has the thoughts and experiences of Mr Monkey in his own mind.
Can you here me Alan?
Alan
I’m not Alan.
Hypnotist
Who are you?
Alan
I am Mr Monkey.
Hypnotist
Hello Mr Monkey, how are you today?
Alan
I’m okay thank you.
Hypnotist
Where do you live Mr Monkey?
Alan
I live in a case. It’s all dark in the case.
Hypnotist
What do you do?
Alan
You know what I do. You are my keeper.
Hypnotist
Why don’t you tell the ladies and gentleman about the fun times we have performing?
Alan
It’s horrible…It’s so dark in the case. Sometimes he gets me out of the case in the middle of the night…
Hypnotist
Yes thank you Mr Monkey…
Alan
No I want to tell them…dripping wet after a hot bath. Then, he uses my face to dry his groin. When he gets to full arousal, he violates me with his dirty man parts.
Sometimes, he gets me out of the case and weeps saying” I didn’t mean to hurt you. Don’t tell anybody, it’ll be our secret.” And that awful night of twisted debauchery that I can hardly bring myself to mention. The smell of goats repels me to this day.
(To Hypnotist) You should be ashamed of yourself. When I think of how those poor donkeys must have suffered. And don’t forget your agent knows nothing of your inclusion on the sex offenders register.
HYPNOTIST’S DEMEANOUR HAS DETERIORATED GRADUALLY THROUGHOUT ALAN’S SPEECH. HE IS NOW ON HIS KNEES CRYING. AFTER THE SPEECH, HE SUDDEN REALISES SOMETHING AND BEGINS TO PERK UP.
Hypnotist
But if you are not around to tell anyone about my secrets, then nobody will ever find out. No more Mr Monkey.
HYPNOTIST REACHES INTO HIS POCKET AND PRODUCES A PISTOL AND SHOOTS ALAN IN THE HEAD. ALAN FALLS TO THE GROUND. HE IS DEAD.
Hypnotist
He never loved me anyway.
HYPNOTIST THROWS THE GUN AWAY AND RUNS OFFSTAGE.
ENTER ONSTAGE, A CHEESY COMPERE.
Compere (In true showbiz style)
Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together and show your appreciation for Tony Trance and Mr Monkey!
CURTAIN FALLS
E/FX. SOUND OF LONE CLAPPER. STUNNED SILENCE AND POLICE SIREN QUIETLY AT FIRST BUT GETTING GRADUALLY LOUDER.
