Anything that should be crossed off the list of things to joke about? Not in terms of offence, but areas so hackneyed that they automatically mark a writer out as cheap and lazy?

1. David Hasselhoff
Cheap, pathetic celebrity punchline. Yes, he's cheesy and shite, that's why he's such an obvious target. Doesn't help that he plays to being cheesy and crap these days, meaning you've just no imagination.

2. I look like X.
Any stand up who starts their set with a self-deprecating remark about who/what they look like has to work doubly hard. Extra lazy points if the line starts with 'I know what you're thinking...', or concludes with 'celebrity A's let himself go' or 'what does celebrity A know about comedy'? Ha ha. You vaguely resemble someone famous. Come up with some jokes...

Quote: Antrax @ June 28 2009, 12:17 AM BST

2. I look like X.
Any stand up who starts their set with a self-deprecating remark about who/what they look like has to work doubly hard. Extra lazy points if the line starts with 'I know what you're thinking...', or concludes with 'celebrity A's let himself go' or 'what does celebrity A know about comedy'? Ha ha. You vaguely resemble someone famous. Come up with some jokes...

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I have to disagree with some of this, one of my seta starts with a 'I know what you are thinking line...', gets a huge laugh, has been complimented on by a LOAD of other acts and headliners and was actually suggested by someone who's been in the business for 20 years... My original opener was quiet different.

That being said it's one line in a set, and to judge someone by one line as being hackneyed. Do you judge a sketch by the first line?

I dunno might be being over defensive, but at my level of doing stand-up (fairly low down) I can see a lot of sins going on for people of the same level and a lot more who should know better.

But generall for me, things to avoid... Comedy Snobbery.

Theme parks - for some reason, everybody I know hates them.

Quote: dannyjb1 @ June 28 2009, 1:04 AM BST

I have to disagree with some of this, one of my seta starts with a 'I know what you are thinking line...', gets a huge laugh,

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I know what you're thinking because I am a mentalist?

Quote: Marc P @ June 28 2009, 10:16 AM BST

I know what you're thinking because I am a mentalist?

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"There's no way, you big spastic!"

Alright the 'i look like' line might seem a bit lazy to a comedy snob, but if someone really does look like a celeb they'd be stupid not to address it because, rest assured, when you play proper clubs the drunken punters will point it out and when the crowd laugh at something a punter says at your expense then the balance of power is upset and unless you've got a good topper you lose them a bit.

Some can be quite ingenius.

I agree there with jdubya - one of biggest opening laughs I ever heard was for Tom Wrigglesworth pointing out who he resembles.

Excellent stand-up by the way, should be far better known

Quote: dannyjb1 @ June 28 2009, 1:04 AM BST

I have to disagree with some of this, one of my seta starts with a 'I know what you are thinking line...', gets a huge laugh, has been complimented on by a LOAD of other acts and headliners and was actually suggested by someone who's been in the business for 20 years... My original opener was quiet different.

That being said it's one line in a set, and to judge someone by one line as being hackneyed. Do you judge a sketch by the first line?

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Well, the thing is I've just seen it far too often, and it's particularly tiresome when you see two open spots in a row do it. I'm not denying it probably gets a laugh, after all that's why it's over-used - it's successful - but it's a cheap laugh to my mind. Not all laughs are good laughs. You can get huge laughs from obvious material, that doesn't mean you should do it.
(And for what it's worth, some high profile comics have complimented me on not referencing the celeb I look quite a bit like at any point, and I've heard several other acts slag off such a line, so horses for courses)

And I certainly don't judge an entire set by it, but it does mean they immediately put a barrier up. I'm not judging the entire set as hackneyed, just the opener.

Quote: jdubya @ June 28 2009, 11:06 AM BST

Alright the 'i look like' line might seem a bit lazy to a comedy snob,

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Hold on - it's not comedy snobbery. It's just seeing lots of comedy. I don't see why it's snobbish to want a bit of originality.

Quote: jdubya @ June 28 2009, 11:06 AM BST

but if someone really does look like a celeb they'd be stupid not to address it because, rest assured, when you play proper clubs the drunken punters will point it out and when the crowd laugh at something a punter says at your expense then the balance of power is upset and unless you've got a good topper you lose them a bit.

Some can be quite ingenius.

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If you really do look like a celebrity to the degree that you can work out in advance that you might get heckled on it, isn't it better to come up with a killer heckler put-down to use on anyone who makes the comparison than merely use a lazy opener that follows a dull standard formula? That's how Frankie Boyle works it if anyone mentions the Proclaimers. It's a more original way of doing it.

Really, you're shooting yourself in the foot there. If you're opening with a joke that any drunk in the audience could make themselves, you're clearly not working hard enough, are you?

Quote: Antrax @ June 28 2009, 3:05 PM BST

Well, the thing is I've just seen it far too often

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Of course, the average punter, to whom you're playing, won't have seen hundreds of comics.

another subject I've always been told not to write about is a lottery win or some sudden riches. Slumdog Millionaire anyone?

Quote: zooo @ June 28 2009, 3:14 PM BST

Of course, the average punter, to whom you're playing, won't have seen hundreds of comics.

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They only need to see two, and as I say, I've two in one night.

It's an odd argument though - you might as well say it's therefore ok to do any joke another comedian's told. The average punter won't have seen their stuff.

Quote: Antrax @ June 28 2009, 3:05 PM BST

Well, the thing is I've just seen it far too often, and it's particularly tiresome when you see two open spots in a row do it. I'm not denying it probably gets a laugh, after all that's why it's over-used - it's successful - but it's a cheap laugh to my mind.

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I'd have thought that if someone is doing open mic spots they're going to want to get their laughs any way they can. With a bit more experience and confidence they may eventually be able to drop those gags, but at the beginning you're going to do whatever it takes to get an audience on your side.

And people who have seen massive amounts of stand up are in the minority in most comedy venues, after all.

Quote: Antrax @ June 28 2009, 3:48 PM BST

They only need to see two, and as I say, I've two in one night.

It's an odd argument though - you might as well say it's therefore ok to do any joke another comedian's told. The average punter won't have seen their stuff.

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Ha, of course not. I'm just pointing out that writers can get a bit too wrapped up in things and forget that their audiences see things very differently. (Not you per se.)

Quote: Mike Greybloke @ June 28 2009, 3:49 PM BST

I'd have thought that if someone is doing open mic spots they're going to want to get their laughs any way they can. With a bit more experience and confidence they may eventually be able to drop those gags, but at the beginning you're going to do whatever it takes to get an audience on your side.

And people who have seen massive amounts of stand up are in the minority in most comedy venues, after all.

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To be honest, that does seem fair enough. Doesn't mean I have to like the gag though!