I've been away for a week but thought I would squeeze one in before the Evil Lee closes the competition!!

Andy W

WE ARE IN THE CABIN OF A VERY SMALL AIRCRAFT AND CAN SEE SEVERAL SMARTLY DRESSED PEOPLE SITTING DOWN READING BROADSHEETS AND RELAXING ETC. WE HEAR A BEEP WHICH ATTRACTS EVERYONES ATTENTION.

CAPTAIN BRADSHAW
My name is Peter Bradshaw and as your Captain would like to thank you for flying with us today. We are currently flying at 27,000 feet and if you all take a look down to your left we are currently over the Lake District. Please enjoy the rest of your flight.

WE HEAR ANOTHER BEEP. AS IT IS A SMALL PLANE THOSE ON THE LEFT LOOK OUT WHILE THOSE ON THE RIGHT STAND UP TO LOOK – SEVERAL SECONDS PASS.

WE HEAR ANOTHER BEEP AND A COMPUTERISED VOICE IS HEARD.

COMPUTERISED VOICE
This is your Auto-Pilot speaking. We are currently flying at 24,000 feet and if you now look down to your right you will see the engine is on fire and the top of Captain Bradshaw’s parachute. Please enjoy the rest of your life.

THE END

SCENE - ON A PASSENGER SPACE SHUTTLE. ON BOTH SIDES ARE SUSPENDED ANIMATION PODS. THE PODS ARE EGG SHAPED WITH BED INSIDE. THE CLEAR LIDS OF THE PODS ARE UP SO THAT PASSENGERS CAN ENTER THEM.

GROUND CONTROL (O.S.)
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is ground control. Thank you for choosing to travel with Virgin Starflights. Our estimated time of arrival on Sirius 5 is fifteen years three months and 2 days. Could all passengers enter their S.A. pods.

ALL THE PASSENGERS LIE BACK INSIDE THEIR PODS

GROUND CONTROL (O.S.)
You will remain in suspended animation until 72 hours before arrival. Thank you once again for travelling with us and we hope you have a pleasant flight. Cabin crew enter you pods.

THE CABIN CREW ENTER THEIR PODS

GROUND CONTROL (O.S.)
Close pods

THE LIDS ON THE PODS CLOSE

(BEAT)

OFF-SCREEN WE HEAR A TOILET FLUSH

A MAN ENTERS THE SCENE AND LOOKS AROUND

MAN
Shit

COMPETITION CLOSED NO ENTRIES BEYOND THIS POINT!

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