OK, because of one thing and another I'm not around as much as I would like these days but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you guys.

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118 118 need five new jokes every day for ever! (or at least for the moment) Writers will retain rights to joke but must not sell to any other media for at least a month. If you're a stand up you can continue to perform the gag. Jokes must be sent to jack@jackmilner.com

WHAT SORT OF JOKES ARE WE LOOKING FOR? Original (no old re-workings please) funny, new jokes More specifically, they must be no longer than 110 characters (including punctuation and spaces), they must be reasonably clean and laugh out loud funny.

The target audience is 16-34. Try to imagine a 25 year old on a Saturday night texting JOKE to 118. Back comes a funny – he or she then laughs and sends it to their mate and even tells it to friends. Jokes from Writer's Guild members or from writer's with agents will be paid at the rate of £30 per one line gag.

Jack Milner is the producer and editor for this project. You can find out more about him on www.jackmilner.com.

Any questions then feel free to email jack@jackmilner.com

Thanks Martin, I will defo give that a go I could do with any money coming in at the moment, christmas is a coming!

But my Writers Guild membership just expired! Aw shucks, no readies for me...

They don't care if you're in the NRA or the We are gay, if you write gags they buy gags.

Damn now I've got competition.

This is just like Scum.

Quote: sootyj @ November 17 2008, 4:01 PM GMT

They don't care if you're in the NRA or the We are gay, if you write gags they buy gags.

Damn now I've got competition.

This is just like Scum.

View original

In which case, might I add, where's your f**king tool?

David I can't believe you typed that with my hot breath on the back of you neck.

You know exactly where my tool is....

Can anyone supply a few examples without me having to pay to text 118 118? so I know the sort of thing they're looking for?

Now that is cheeky!

What's the most offensive lettuce?

Jonathon Cos.

Sigh there goes my nice little earner.

Oh it's bad jokes they want. Fair enough

Bum off!

I sent about 40 and so far I have got a couple on the reserve list. I thought that some were quite funny as well as I put up 35 on critique recently and some of them got decent feedback.

Hit rate for me is 1 in 15.

E.g. I sold 40 as of 7/11/2008, but wrote about 600.

Well done for sticking at it. I shall persevere.

But you only sent in the first batch so you didn't get a chance to raise your game when you knew what they were looking for.

And please don't, moonbase Sootyj is only half built.

I think they want topical stuff as well.