Near death experience - sketch comedy

Wave Hello fellow comedians,

We recently finished a short video on NDE, looking for harsh critque, as if you were born in Serbian and there is no time for soft watery remarks to what went well.

Honest Opinions Only Please.

http://youtu.be/ikfVvxVZYIo

-Kevin /whyhellojohn

It's well made and looks professional enough but it needs a bit more bite.
I think if the fart was used as the last resort after exhaustive medical measures taken by the medics, it might scan better.
Very good though well put together.

Why hello, why hello John!

One of the people I'm always pleased to see.

Funny, surreal, tasteless maybe the final punchline is over extended but otherwise great stuff.

Thanks for all the kind words! We once got advice from Bob Odenkirk to try and keep sketches under 2 minutes and while we are doing better at keeping the time down, do you guys have any advice keeping things short and coherent?

Cheers....

Quote: sootyj @ October 17 2012, 8:48 PM BST

Funny, surreal, tasteless

Yeah, I'll ditto that.

Maybe I'm being naive or just confused, but I'm sure I recognise you from somewhere, Kevin (if you're the blond one in the vid and avatar). What other stuff have you done?

Comedy-wise, that is.

Quote: Why Hello John @ October 17 2012, 9:31 PM BST

Thanks for all the kind words! We once got advice from Bob Odenkirk to try and keep sketches under 2 minutes and while we are doing better at keeping the time down, do you guys have any advice keeping things short and coherent?

Cheers....

I guess that comes down to scripting, I'd be delighted to write you a script

I was on Crimewatch once,it was about some triplets who swindled a casino.
I played myself and two others.

More specifically if you script it, you can give it a definitive punchline that you end on.

But I like the trippy, vagueness of your work. As I said before reminesent of Time and Eric.

Quote: Why Hello John @ October 17 2012, 9:31 PM BST

Bob Odenkirk

<3

Too long, not short and punchy enough. Drawn-out Jackass humour - doesn't do it any more for me.