Hi guys me and a friend have an online comedy series called Always Hype TV on YouTube www.youtube.com/ALWAYSHYPETV

im gona post all our comedy sketches on the forum any thoughts on our sketches would be amazing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ga6w_gzs2k&feature=plcp

Nathan is on his way to the pet shop, but Gomes has something he may be interested in...

This ones better but its so over explained theres no real punchline to it

yh I see what you mean.. need to make it more tight will get back to the drawing board

not neccasairly

I mean get it down to 2-3 minutes in length.

cut out the lines where the guy guesses the other guys a dealer (the audience will guess it)

and stick to a list of 3 objects (e.g. cheese, tie, rhino)

and make rhino a surprise.

I dunno the dealer pulls on a rhino mask nuts the other guy and steals his wallet.

or he sells him a rhino aphrodisiac.

Unlike the other sketch this one is very much in the right direction. It just needs to be tighter with a twist ending.;