BCG And The Diamond Jubilee Page 2

"Is going off script genuine bloody comedy or just typical lazy British arseholes leaning on their state benefit handout shovels while the other more hard-working funny chaps (and chapesses)do all the genuine comedy ditch-digging bloody graft?" Boris screamed.

"Calm down dears," soothed Michael Winters.... "It's only a BCG commercial."

And now back to ....

The Diamond Jubilee part deux....

The Duke of Edinburgh has just asked Michael Jackson a) Why he is not dead and b) Is he a genuine darkie or what.

"It's a long story," replied Michael, "But to cut it short the world wasn't ready for the real me," he broke down and sobbed.

The Yorkshire of Duchess held the dusky(ish) urchin defiantly to her breast, "All this poor boy wanted was to be..."

*dramatic pause ominous music*..

"A Ginger!" she exclaimed with such a defiant display of ginger passion that it included three orgasms ..although for the sake of credibilty she might have admitted that the first, the second, and possibly even the third, may have been faked as childish drawings of the experience do not normally count..

...After a good cleanse, she decided to take the orphan Michael horse riding.

'Christ help me' yelled Jackson as the trusty steed arrived at a local hostelry, sure enough, the usual tribe were there, sexist, racist and down right thugs.

They shouted, 'Get out of our manor you black bastard', 'why me? I have changed so much, just for you' appealed Jackson, then J. Clarkson enters pub;...

.. Jeremy Clarkson punched the air in defiance as he introduced his latest spunkbucket, "This is the one for me! But not for the wife or the tabloids!" he threatened as he unzipped himself and exposed a throbbing erected Super Injunction.

"Feck! Arse! Chav! Shite! " gasped Prince Philip.

"Yes dear," replied Her Maj, " Mr Clarkson and Ms Vicky Pollard do indeed appear to be very suited to each other."