HARRY REDKNAPP
HARRY REDKNAPP IS BEING QUESTIONED BY A PROSECUTION LAWYER.
LAWYER:
Mr Redknapp, what motivated you to open a bank account in your dog's name?
HARRY:
Well, that was purely accidental. You see, I tried to open it in MY name, but because I write like a toddler and can't spell, the bank clerk got the wrong end of the stick.
LAWYER:
And why did you choose to open the account in France, of all places?
HARRY:
Well, you see - I'm so thick, I genuinely thought I was in London!
LAWYER:
You THOUGHT you were in London? Weren't you the slightest bit taken aback, when the bank clerk addressed you in French?
HARRY:
No - I mean London's full of foreigners, ain't it?
LAWYER:
Mr Redknapp, it would appear as if you hold yourself in rather low esteem?
HARRY:
How do you mean?
LAWYER:
Well, you claim that your handwriting is no better than a toddler's; that you can't spell; and that you're a bit 'thick'!
HARRY:
Well, I did swear to tell the truth, didn't I? Look, I know what you're thinking...
LAWYER:
Do you really?
HARRY:
And I just wanna say that I would rather GIVE you a hundred grand, than knick a fiver off of you!
LAWYER:
Well, I appreciate your abstract generosity.
HARRY:
Not that you'd need the money of course - what with you being a lawyer!
LAWYER:
Mr Redknapp - you do know what they say about people in glass houses, don't you?
HARRY:
That they should have bought a normal house instead, and got a conservatory?
