Quote: Jinky @ May 9 2011, 12:03 PM BST

Dear oh dear, three basic mistakes you've made there....

a) The song should be one of those "songs that seem like they are a part of gay culture though no gay person actually listens to them" ABBA, Village People, Cabaret, etc.

b) There has to be at least one mention of David Cameron being 'posh' and Nick Clegg being his 'fag'.

c) You appear to have strayed into 'satire'. Return to 'topical' AT ONCE.

Homework: Write about the recent AV referendum to the tune of "The Winner Takes It All". The song should include a reference to David Cameron's poshness and Eric Pickles' weight.

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Do not write on both sides of the paper at once...

(Ok, I nicked that from 1066 and All That...)

I wrote for News Revue today
I heard about a lucky wit it got him laid
Although he took it up the arse
It was really quite a farce
But I just had to look.
It was Brian Took.

Woke up, fell out of bed
Got a sketch inside my head
Found my way downstairs and wrote it up
But the deadline's up, I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Wrote a sketch in seconds flat
Now nobody cares that I wrote a joke
Still, the pay is a joke, so I went into a dream

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ah ah aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh......

Oi! You lot! Stop it! Newsrevue has been very good to me. To many of us! It was the first place I submitted material to - ever - and their encouragement and support, along with Treason Show's, gave me the impetus to keep doing it (and the chance to flex topical comedy muscles every week ahead of Newsjack starting). I think it's great that there's a show with an open submissions policy that's so supportive of comedy writers.

Also: I've seen the show twice in the past six months and both times the cast have just blown me away - they're hugely talented performers (whose ability to learn sketches and songs by heart in a day or two - *coughs* Saturday Night Live *coughs* - is, it must be said, remarkable). And when I met the cast and director of the last run, they treated me like royalty! Honestly, Newsrevue are Good People who really do value writers. We should be virtually hugging them, not slagging 'em off!

Hi Andrea!

Didn't realise you were writing for NewsRevue now...

I quite agree - give this show a break you miserable, cynical gits!

Hehe Newsrevue's where I started! Well, unless you count Twitter.

Quote: Griff @ May 10 2011, 4:18 PM BST

ignore Snooty Doctor Tim, he is talking through his hat.

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As a newbie, I see the opportunity to write something for newsrevue as a guiding light. If they take on-board one of my ideas, then I'm heading in the right direction.

Hi Andrea.
I wasn't slagging. Merely jesting. As you know, I've been a NewsRevue writer on and off for about 3 years now.

And yes, agreed, that NR is a great place for fledgling writers to submit to.

Yup. Learn rejection early.

Quote: Chantoozie @ May 10 2011, 3:54 PM BST

I think it's great that there's a show with an open submissions policy that's so supportive of comedy writers.

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I agree.

But. It. Doesn't. Make. It. Funny.

news revue cast and crew change 6 weekly and there is constant through play of writers

some times its been boring as hell

sometimes I've laughed till I wept

oh and friends I've brought have come back again and again its vibrant as f**k unlike some other shows

I have seen very funny stuff at Newsrevue.

That is all.

Thanks for reading.

week 3...

RUN NUMBER91
WEEK NUMBER3
DIRECTOR: Ash Lim
CAST: Jenna Shaw, Becky Moult, Steve Giles and Rhys Owen

Column1TITLEWRITER
1Using AVGary Beard
2Nick Glegg Book WeekCast
3CleggcagoKerry Gooderson
4TFLCast
5Mrs RobinsonMartin Baum
6V/O Emma WastonAsh Lim
7Ground ZeroPeter Frank
8Al Quaeda JailCast
9Britain's Got TalentCast
10Katherine Zeta PolarRhys Owen/Cast
11MastermindCast
12NHS Listening ExercisesAndrea Mann
13Tag On MeBen Watson / Katy Schutte
14Libyan RebelsJohn Random
15Super InjunctionsEmma Lympany/Cast
16App for thatCast/Andrea Mann
17Osama Vid 1Robert faulk
18Osama Vid 2Robert faulk
19Osama Vid 3Robert faulk
20Veiled in FranceDerek Thompson
21James BondThomas Smith/Steve Giles
22Skank OffCast
23Nick Clegg HappinessDavid Salisbury
24V/O Moonpig.bombKaty Schutte
25Thatch.comS.Leask, A.Buchan, B.Watson. E.Burke, K.Schutte
26Fresh ObamaRhys Owen
27Yoda CensusJason Smart
28Phil CollinsAndrea Mann
29Balcony SceneWill Allen
30This Royal Wedding's Really BoringMikey Jackson
31Dr and Cam Health ReformsThomas Smith
32Surprise sexThomas Smith / Cast
35Supergroup Al Roberts/Darren Johnson
36Top SneerOli Rose/ Cast/ A.Buchan
37Rwanda AppealSteve Leask/ Elly Burke
38Mr SheenLucien Young
39Cuts Really hurtNick Hallam
40Driving HomeSteve Giles
41V/O Total TerrorMartin Malcom
42Osama Tribute CdAntony Farmer
43The return of Ed MillibandAndrea Mann
44Go CompareCast
45CheersHelen Kennedy
46Wedding Night - Phil and KateWill Allen
47Scare TacticsRobin Bailes
48When Will I be KingTom Johnstone/Steve Giles
49Saint Peter in HeavenBrian Jack
50V/O Sex orgyRhys Owen
51Abba MedleyRobin Bailes / Cast

Thank You for posting the running order.

My song is number 15 but Ive struggled since to write anything as funny (well funny to me anyway). Urghhhhh

2 hours on a song tonight coz I would be more frustrated giving up on it than
finishing it - anyone else have days like that?.