TWO TOILET CUBICLES HAVING A CHAT.
A:
Not much action today mate?
B:
Nah, all quiet on the western front. I've had that shy urinater in again today and that's it.
A:
He always seems to pick you. (PAUSE) What's the deal with him anyway, micropenis?
B:
I can't see it so I presume so. And I'll tell you another thing, he sits down to pee.
A:
Sits down to pee? That blokes got gender issues, I tell you.
B:
Nothing surprises me these days, bloody weirdos everywhere. Funny enough, he always seems to read Bella.
A:
A bloke reading Bella, who sits down to pee, you can't see his dick and who doesn't shit.
B:
It has to be a woman, has to.
A:
Screw him or her, I'm bloody starving.
FX DOOR OPENING.
B:
Wahey, who's it going to be? I'm six-four up for the week.
A:
Six-five mate, he's coming here. (SHOUTING) Feed me! Feed me!
FX FART FOLLOWED BY SPLASH.
A: (munching noises)
Now, that's just what the doctor ordered. A little something to wash it down with…
FX URINATING.
A:
Aaah!
B:
I'm licking my lips just listening to you mate.
FX CLICK OF LIGHTER.
A:
The git's smoking, I'll get on to Health and Safety.
B:
Disgusting, no other word for it.
A:
Bastard, he's put the fag out in my bowl.
B:
Well, really, ruining a good meal like that.
FX DOOR OPENING
A: (shouting)
Oi! Oi! Flush the bleeding chain, I'll get indigestion.
B:
Mate, don't speak with your mouth full.
