Another one for your eyes!

Scene 1. Ext. Front Door [20:00]

A GROUP OF CAROL SINGERS KNOCK ON THE DOOR. THE DOOR IS OPENED. THE CAROL SINGERS ARE SINGING OH COME ALL YE FAITHFUL.

HOME OWNER
[EXCITEDLY] Oooh! Carol singers!

THE HOME OWNER REACHES BEHIND THE DOOR AND PULLS OUT A VIOLIN AND BEGINS TO JOIN IN ON THE LAST, LOUD LINE OF OH COME LET US ADORE HIM-BADLY. THE CAROL SINGERS STOP SINGING.

HOME OWNER
Can I join you?

THE CAROL SINGERS PUSH THE HOMEOWNER BACK INTO THE HOUSE, GRAB THE FRONT DOOR AND SLAM IT SHUT BEFORE RUNNING OFF.

CAROL SINGER
People hate us enough without her!

IN THE BACKGROUND THE SOUND OF A VIOLIN BEING PLAYED BADLY CAN BE HEARD.

END

Not bad, though it's fairly obvious what will happen. A variation on the theme of people inviting in the Jehovah's Witnesses. I don't think it needs the Carol Singer's last line, though. Better for them to just scarper, maybe singing suitable praise to the Lord?

Hi, mate. I like this idea a lot but I don't think (just my opinion, mind)that you've caught it as well as you might have.
It's early in the morning and I'm getting tired (couldn't sleep) and my brain's going a bit whirly but, if it were mine, I'd play around with the idea of her thinking they were trick or treating or something like that.
Maybe that's a shit idea - oh, I swore

This is the only one of the batch you posted I didn't smile at. Might just need a rewrite, although perhaps it was a bit predictable and not as clever as the rest. I liked the rest of your sketches a lot.

Hey Guys! Thanks for all of your comments. I thought this was the weakest of the four. I love the suggestion of the home owner thinking they are trick or treaters-I think that could give it a whole new life and wouldn't be so predictable. I'll give it a rewrite and repost if thats ok! Thanks again for all of your comments and advice-much appreciated! Q!

Didn't work for me either, I have to say.

Quote: Badge @ December 14, 2007, 1:54 AM

Not bad, though it's fairly obvious what will happen. A variation on the theme of people inviting in the Jehovah's Witnesses.

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What's wrong with that? I liked the idea.