Again, feedback is welcomed and appreciated! Q!

Scene 1. Int. Classroom [11:00]

A SIXTH FORMER [ANT] IS GOING INTO A CLASSROOM CLUTCHING HIS A-LEVEL RESULTS ENVOLOPE. HE MAKES A PHONE CALL ON HIS MOBILE PHONE.

Scene 2. Int. Hallway [11:00]

THE PHONE RINGS, ANTS BROTHER,DECLAN, ANSWERS IT.

DECLAN
Hello!

ANT
Alright, it’s Ant, I’ve got my results-will you tell Mum and Dad.

DECLAN
Yeah, I’ll just get a pen [HE SHUFFLES ABOUT FOR A PEN] Go on.

DECLAN WRITES DOWN THE GRADES ON THE PIECE OF PAPER AS ANT READS THEM OUT

ANT
Right, I got a D for Geography, a U for Biology, an N for Physics, on a more positive note, I got a C for General studies and an E for Maths. I’ve just gotta go and see if I got into any uni’s. See ya!

DECLAN FINISHES WRITING THE GRADES DOWN ON THE PIECE OF PAPER TO REVEAL THEY SPELL THE WORD ‘DUNCE’

END

The weakest of this bunch I'm afraid. Easily telegraphed and a bit unbelievable.

Sorry, mate, but he's right.
Still, we've seen some nice work from you so, over all, well done

Well I liked this one. You get a F U N N and a Y from me.

Hey-thanks for the feedback guys! A few people I have shown this to have said that they can see whats coming because it is being read, however, they think they wouldn't perhaps have realised if they were watching it-maybe they were just being kind

I might try and see if there is another way in which I can go with this one.

Thanks again! Q!

Mm, I agree that it doesn't really work, it just seems a bit pointless really... it might have worked a bit better if it had finished:

DECLAN FINISHES WRITING THE GRADES DOWN ON THE PIECE OF PAPER TO REVEAL THEY SPELL THE WORD ‘DUNCE'.

DEC:
'Dunce'?!

ANT:
F**k you, then, I tried my best!