Hi,

Interested to hear any comments on this one.

Thanks

John
Purple Comedy http://standupcomedy.podomatic.com/

The Call

Radio sketch

John Burns

INT-FLAT–DAY
SFX: SHOWER RUNNING
SFX: PHONE RINGING

ChrisIn shower, calling) Dave! (Beat) Dave! The phone! (Close) F**k
SFX:GETS OUT OF THE SHOWER

Chris:Answer the bloody phone!

Dave:No leave it.

Chris:I'll get it.

Dave:No, no don't! It'll be Andy.

Chris:Andy?

SFX: PHONE STOPS

Dave:It's Debs, she's left him.

Chrish God no! He worshipped her. What happened?

Davehe had a bit of a fling.

Chris:Fling?

Dave:A one night stand, nothing serious really.

Chris:God he'll be so hurt. I have to call him...

Dave:I wouldn't.

Chris:Why not?

Dave:Well...he'll go on and on.

Chris:He needs us! Why didn't the answer phone cut in?

Dave:I put it off, he'd only leave a message and...

Chris:And you can't be arsed.

Dave:You know what it's like, people split up you have to listen to all that drama, better he just gets over it.

Chris:I have to speak to him, I'm calling back

SFXHONE DIALLING

Dave:No, honestly I ...

SFX:CHRIS ANSWERS

Chris:Hi Andy. I heard, I'm so sorry. (Pause) Dave told me. (Pause) What? The bastard! The absolute bastard! I'll call back.

SFX:HANGS UP

ChrisPause) You shagged her!

Davenly a bit.

Chris:A bit!

Dave:I was pissed (beat) and it was raining.

Chrisebs, the light of Andy's life and you...you absolute complete f**king bastard. His life's in ruins. I'm going round.

Dave:To Andy's, why?

Chris:No Debs, it can't be easy for her.

Dave:Easy for her? (Beat) Wait a minute. Just a minute.

Chris:What?

Dave:I know your game, you're going to go round to her now, before the emotional paint's dried and slip in there like the little horny toad you really are.

PHONE RINGS

Chris:Andy! Dave, yes he's here I'll put him on.

Dave:F**k no! Hi, Andy.

Chris:Bye !

Dave:C**t! No, not you Andy, not you.

Ends

That's not too bad, John. I'd replace the [several] words which are unsuitable for radio.

Being in the shower isn't instrumental to the plot. Suggest a more comical reason for not being able to answer the phone.

We did this sketch on Purple basically unchanged.

Have a listen. Let me know what you think. Perhaps needs more pace

http://standupcomedy.podomatic.com/

John
Purple Comedy

Hi

Yes I think you are right about the Mitchell and Webb comparison. Think I need to develop the characters more. not sure about ending the sketch when you say. I'll take another look.

John