Quote: Morrace @ October 9 2009, 1:57 PM BSTWhy did the time-share go pear-shaped?
Because the bathroom suites were all avocado.
Joke Adoption. Page 8
Quote: Marc P @ October 9 2009, 4:29 PM BSTBecause the bathroom suites were all avocado.
So what did Homer Simpson say, Marc P?
Quote: Morrace @ October 9 2009, 4:34 PM BSTSo what did Homer Simpson say, Marc P?
I don't know. 
Avaca doh!
Quote: Marc P @ October 9 2009, 4:35 PM BSTI don't know.
Avaca doh!
Wish I thought of that!!
Here's one:
This alligator came up to me and kicked me really hard in the left testicle. Really hard. I was just reeling from this, when his mate appears; a bloody brontosaurs, wasn't it? He hauled back and hoofed me in the right testicle. Then both the buggers run off. laughing. I'm leaning against this wall, feeling frankly nauseous. This bloke comes up to me and points to my left testicle and says, "Did an alligator do that?". "Yes mate, but…" I said through the gasps, pointing to my right testicle, "That's the sauropod".
Here's one I just got via a text.
Little Paula gets her first period. Uncomfortable with talking to her parents she decides to ask little Johnny. So she whips up her skirt and shows him her bleeding fanny. Johnny scratches his chin for a bit and finally says "I'm no expert but it looks as if someones ripped your bollox off!"
What did Luke Skywalker say to Darth Vader when Darth removed his helmet?
"Go to the dark side, the dark side!!"
Quote: Marooned @ October 25 2009, 12:09 PM BSTWhat did Luke Skywalker say to Darth Vader when Darth removed his helmet?
"Go to the dark side, the dark side!!"
Confused I am !
Quote: Marooned @ October 25 2009, 12:09 PM BSTWhat did Luke Skywalker say to Darth Vader when Darth removed his helmet?
"Go to the dark side, the dark side!!"
I'm not gonna get messy about this...I 
>_< 
<3 
This.
I think he means Darth is ugly and wants him to stand in shadows, so as not to see his disfigured face.
<swanny whistle>
Here's one I wrote recently...
Bought a pack of tennis balls, on the side it said "Serving Suggestion - Overarm".
I use Twitter, www.twitter.com/TonyCowards for writing one-liners, the limit of 140 characters really helps to keep everything short and punchy, it really makes you edit jokes down to the bare bones.
Do my jokes confuse people because the word arrangement's poor or because others simply don't find them funny? It would help me out if I knew. Thanks.
Hi Marooned, I thinkthat's it for me, they just seem too confusing to get the joke. If I can't see the joke then I'm not going to laugh. This happens to me in my writing sometimes. Fortunately my writing pals point it out to me. Humour is so individual, sometimes so individual youre the only one finding it funny. And I don't mean this to be rude at all.
Sometimes I can see the gag clearly, so they move it to my mouth instead.
(See what I mean?)
I think the basic problem is the sense of the joke doesn't hit quickly enough. Some of the ideas are funny. As a test, try the Darth one again and imagine I'm really stupid, really spell it out for me in the body of the joke.
e.g. Luke says, "If I had a face like yours, I'd shave my dark side and walk backwards".