Self Checkout Machine Page 2

You're making a ridiculous claim if you're seriously suggesting that I didn't understand the sarcastic tone your post.

You can try to break my balls if you want, but bring some funnies if you can't bring manners.

It's always nice to know that my writing promotes such healthy debate :)

Yeah sorry for highjacking your thread andy. I liked your idea.

Might I suggest

Image

The lube of choice for your middle class homo...

Quote: Godot Taxis @ September 18 2009, 12:29 AM BST

You're making a ridiculous claim if you're seriously suggesting that I didn't understand the sarcastic tone your post.

You can try to break my balls if you want, but bring some funnies if you can't bring manners.

Kettle, teapot. Black!

I'm relatively new, scripts and things will come with time, you can't expect everything at once taxi man, that would be overkill.

But when have I not had manners. I think you're just annoyed because I said I didn't like your silly courgette 'joke'. Put your dummy back in mate!

You seem to be able to give criticism very well but when it comes to taking it it's a different story.

I'm not here to make enemies, but it seems your overly hostile manner means I have one. Sorry if I've pissed you off for correcting your mistakes and put your back up.

Andyroo. I like your idea, it could make a good sketch but as you've said needs work, but a writer should know nothing will ever be perfect, there will always be something you could add. Its our chosen art after all. It took Da Vinci around 4 years to paint the Mona Lisa.

As kjsmyling informs;

"The first draft of everything is shit"
Ernest Hemingway

Good lord what have I wandered into?! I liked the start of this but agree the ending trails off into confusion. I think it starts to go awry at 'scary film'. I'm not sure how to fix it but wondered about him abandoning the shopping and then a close up of a 13 yr old laughing into one of those joke-shop devices that alters your voice to darth vader, c3po etc.
I actually liked the part where he has second thoughts about the Vaseline because of the anal lube comment, made me laugh out loud and was my favourite bit. Vaseline is embarrassing to buy at the best of times. …er I get chapped lips sometimes… oh and I have a small child with eczema, yes that sounds more plausible, how do you edit these things?

The basic theme is a good one, and I found it quite humourous.Apart from a few anomalies, I can't see the grouse regarding product valuation. I don't think the general public would give a flying f**k whether there was an actual anal lubricant available;unless of course the writer is being paid for product exposure. It is all down to insinuation for chrissakes.

p

Quote: jonikversal @ September 19 2009, 9:59 PM BST

Kettle, teapot. Black!

I'm relatively new, scripts and things will come with time, you can't expect everything at once taxi man, that would be overkill.

But when have I not had manners. I think you're just annoyed because I said I didn't like your silly courgette 'joke'. Put your dummy back in mate!

You seem to be able to give criticism very well but when it comes to taking it it's a different story.

I'm not here to make enemies, but it seems your overly hostile manner means I have one. Sorry if I've pissed you off for correcting your mistakes and put your back up.

Andyroo. I like your idea, it could make a good sketch but as you've said needs work, but a writer should know nothing will ever be perfect, there will always be something you could add. Its our chosen art after all. It took Da Vinci around 4 years to paint the Mona Lisa.

As kjsmyling informs;

"The first draft of everything is shit"
Ernest Hemingway

Get f**ked. You're just an unfunny newbie who thinks he's invented sarcasm. And your disingenuousness is wearying. Sparkle or sod off.

Just to clarify, where can I get my hands on this anal lube?

I thought the idea was good but the over the top homophobia could have been left out for me. Perhaps staying with the loser/loner/no mates/lives with mum side of things. Quite a nice finish with the 'out of order' machine, made me chuckle.