Some "What The BBC Probably Wants" Stuff Page 3

At £3k an episode I think I'll try my luck & see if I get anywhere; which will probably be a big pile of rejection letters at best :-).

Quote: Danny K @ February 5 2009, 7:20 PM GMT

Very well put together Kevin - and as mentioned, very professional.
Liked your sketch ARE WE THERE YET? If not done previously, have you posted it on the critique thread yet for feedback?

Thanks muchly :-)

And yes, I posted it to the Critique thread before it went up on the blog. I think it was my first ever post here, actually.

Kevin,

First of all thanks for a very clear and concise set of notes which is one of the most useful things I have yet found on the forum.

I had one question with regard to your 'don't give up the day job' quote. Did they give any indication of their expectations re: time commitment or availability? I ask because my day job would make some of that stuff hard and giving it up for 18 thousand would be a tad braver than I think I am.

Not that I recall, Ponderer. There may have been some discussion of commitments needed specifically for this Northern Laughs thing, but given that I'm currently blissfully jobless it wasn't something I listened out for.

The "don't give up your day job" line was just a throwaway. If you're in Uni, £18k for your first job is probably a wonderful thing. If you're a hedge fund manager, it's your stripper bill.

Quote: Ponderer @ February 6 2009, 1:30 PM GMT

Kevin,

First of all thanks for a very clear and concise set of notes which is one of the most useful things I have yet found on the forum.

I had one question with regard to your 'don't give up the day job' quote. Did they give any indication of their expectations re: time commitment or availability? I ask because my day job would make some of that stuff hard and giving it up for 18 thousand would be a tad braver than I think I am.

23 January 2009: Scheme Launches

February 2009: Comedy Writing Workshops

Thursday 12 March 2009:Deadline for submissions

Monday 20th April 2009:Interviews in Leeds (transport costs will be provided to shortlisted candidates)

Wednesday 6th May 2009:Day long workshop for Northern Laughs scheme writers in Leeds

May – October 2009: 4 Mentoring sessions

Wed 6th May: - one to one with mentor

Mon 8th June: – first draft due to mentor

Mon 6th July: – second draft due to mentor

Mon 3rd August: – third draft to BBC writersroom/BBC Comedy and mentor for selection for Edinburgh reading & feedback.

Those are the key dates for the Northern Laughs thing. But you're assuming you'll be paid 18,000 pounds if you get on. You won't. You'll be paid a bursary of 250 quid, plus travelling expenses to various meetings.

This scheme is about opening doors to new writers, with a view to hopefully producing broadcastable stuff with the help of a mentor.

Thanks Kevin. Coming to this a bit later there's a bit more juggling to do so I was just wondering how easy it is to hedge your bets(not that I expect this to be much of an issue for me, but I can dream).

Ironically I am still at Uni, but not as a student.

Lee, thanks. Although originally from the north I'm now no longer there so can't have a pop at this. I was wondering more generally about what happens if the beeb take anything forward.

Quote: Ponderer @ February 6 2009, 9:17 PM GMT

Thanks Kevin.

You're welcome. ;)

Quote: Lee Henman @ February 6 2009, 9:19 PM GMT

You're welcome. ;)

sorry Lee I was typing when you added (I'm easily distracted). See edit (which I was doing for your second post). Thanks for your input. Helpful as ever.

Quote: Ponderer @ February 6 2009, 9:17 PM GMT

Lee, thanks. Although originally from the north I'm now no longer there so can't have a pop at this. I was wondering more generally about what happens if the beeb take anything forward.

No probs. :)

On the face of it the initial commission a new writer might get doesn't seem huge - but then, how many apprentices are started on full wage?

And anyway, most people wanting to get into TV comedy are doing it for the thrill of seeing the stuff in their head come to life onscreen. That's always the main drive I think.

It's an incredible thing when you think about it - having some abstract concept that originated in your brain - just a jumble of electric signals passed through your synapses and sticky, lumpy grey bits - which are then assembled and constructed in such a way to bring happiness to potentially millions of strangers across the land. And although those people are still technically strangers after watching your stuff, in a weird way they're not. Because on a very basic, primeval level, you've connected with them by making them laugh. (Hopefully!) That's what drives me on. Not money or awards or sex with Kylie Minogue in a swimming pool filled with Smarties. There really is no better feeling than seeing your stuff on TV, and that includes sex.

With Kylie Minogue.

In a swimming pool filled with Smarties.

I'm a bit drunk now. Oh Guinness, you sultry whore, how you pleasure me!

I'll be back to my cynical old self soon.
;)

Very eloquent and absolutely right. I have an entry on at the sitcom trials and am insanely excited about it. I can only imagine the TV thing is all that in spades.

My problem is leaving this til a bit later in life with kids and a mortgage habit to support means I have to think a bit about how to try to achieve all those things without becoming destitute.

I'm not even sure about being a full-time writer (please forgive the assumption that this is even a vague possibility, I am practicing being imaginative to improve my writing)as I wonder about how that changes the relationship with your writing. I haven't met many full-time writers so far but several that I have seem to focus on unfairness, bias, the stupidity of the people they work with, etc. In short, just what the rest of us focus on rather than the joy of writing.

The smarties sound quite uncomfortable. Cadbury's buttons sound better. Or does Kylie particularly like smarties?

Sorry for bumping an old thread, but I thought you might dislike to know that I made a mistake in my original post. Or, as I like to think, I repeated somebody else's mistake.

I said that the Beeb gets 10,000 scripts through BBC Writersroom every year, and that 3% enter some kind of "development" process.

This turns out to be misleading. I've since sat through essentially the same Powerpoint by the same Writersroom employee, and the 3% actually refers to the number of scripts that are read beyond the first ten pages.

It was said a number of times, so I'm pretty certain this second version is closer to the truth.

To reiterate, Writersroom gets 10,000 scripts a year, and only 300 are, in the eyes of the professional reader, worth reading on past the first ten pages.

Form an orderly queue next to the noose.

Just don't send stuff to the Writers Room; I genunly think it's a waste of time.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ March 5 2009, 5:50 PM GMT

Sorry for bumping an old thread, but I thought you might dislike to know that I made a mistake in my original post. Or, as I like to think, I repeated somebody else's mistake.

I said that the Beeb gets 10,000 scripts through BBC Writersroom every year, and that 3% enter some kind of "development" process.

This turns out to be misleading. I've since sat through essentially the same Powerpoint by the same Writersroom employee, and the 3% actually refers to the number of scripts that are read beyond the first ten pages.

It was said a number of times, so I'm pretty certain this second version is closer to the truth.

To reiterate, Writersroom gets 10,000 scripts a year, and only 300 are, in the eyes of the professional reader, worth reading on past the first ten pages.

Form an orderly queue next to the noose.

It's certainly a depressing thought if you send your stuff to the Writer's Room. So surely the sensible thing is to send your stuff to other people as well. Of course, those other people won't read past ten pages either unless it's making them laugh.

It's easy to get disheartened with stats like that. I suppose you just have to remember that if your stuff's good and you push it under enough noses, you WILL get noticed in the end. It's a long slog sometimes but it will happen.

So chin up! ;)