Hey All

Sketch reject from the Love episode. I think it's all right.

SOMETHING NEW IN THE BEDROOM

WOMAN: Hon', I think we should do something new in the bedroom.

MAN: Really?

WOMAN: Yeah. What do you think?

MAN: Oh. I don't know. I'm... (LAUGHS) You know me - fairly tame tastes.

WOMAN: Oh, come on. There must be something you feel like doing.

MAN: Oh, I'm- Nothing comes to mind. I'm satisfied with things as they are.

WOMAN: Oh, just tell me. Anything. Just go wild with ideas. Absolutely no judgement.

MAN: Really? Oh, OK. Erm, I suppose, some music. Some dirty talk. Some blindfolds. Some masks. Some ice. Some candlewax. (GETTING MORE INTO IT) Some rope. Some chains. Some whips. Some leather. Some ball-gags. Some clamps. Some pokers. (TOO INTO IT) A rack. A circular board I can be pinned to while darts are thrown at me. A Teletubbies outfit. A cactus with some lube on it. An iguana wearing a mask of Theresa May. And a recording of my Mum saying, "Oh, you dirty boy! You dirty, dirty, dirty boy!" (HEAVY BREATHING) What about you?

WOMAN: Erm... well... When I said I think we should do something new in the bedroom.

MAN: Yeah!?

WOMAN: I was thinking... Changing the wallpaper and painting the skirting board.

MAN: Oh... That'd be good too.

END

Not to wee wee on your fries but I saw the punchline a mile off.

Interesting. Thanks. I suppose that could be mitigated by how the first line was said (though it couldn't be said particularly lasciviously or the sketch wouldn't make sense at the end).

Perhaps if he started the conversation..?

Man: You know the other night, when you said you wanted to try something new in the bedroom.
Womantentative) Yes...
He them proceeds to describe something outrageous, finishing with "...so, what do you think?"
Woman: WellI I was thinking new curtains and a couple of scatter cushions, but hey ho, pass the peanut butter (something rude)

Yes, that's a good way to hide the punchline a bit. Especially if we don't hear/see the woman's reaction until near the end. It would also make the set-up shorter, which is nice. Personally I'd prefer it if the woman didn't go along with it at the end and it finishes on the man being in an embarrassing situation (clearly I'm some sort of misandrist).

To be honest, DMs are Open does have sketches where the punchline can be guessed early on, I've counted 3 in the new series so far!

I do think it's solid a sketch though, I did smirk at the more outlandish stuff he said.

To add what I'd do differently? I guess I'd make a couple/few interjections with the wife (the husband still saying the same stuff he does, basically ignorning the interjections), but maybe that's just how my brain does structure!

Do note though, that none of my sketches made it onto Newsjack/DMs and was a serial recipient "Recorded but not in the final show" on Newsjack when it cames to one-liners. So YMMV when it comes my response, haha.

I like the escalating list of quirks he has, but the gag is obvious, and yet paradoxically doesn't really work: "try something new in the bedroom" could neve4 realistically mean "redecorate"..

Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ 25th May 2023, 11:36 AM

Hey All

Sketch reject from the Love episode. I think it's all right.

SOMETHING NEW IN THE BEDROOM

WOMAN: Hon', I think we should do something new in the bedroom.

MAN: Really?

WOMAN: Yeah. What do you think?

MAN: Oh. I don't know. I'm... (LAUGHS) You know me - fairly tame tastes.

WOMAN: Oh, come on. There must be something you feel like doing.

MAN: Oh, I'm- Nothing comes to mind. I'm satisfied with things as they are.

WOMAN: Oh, just tell me. Anything. Just go wild with ideas. Absolutely no judgement.

MAN: Really? Oh, OK. Erm, I suppose, some music. Some dirty talk. Some blindfolds. Some masks. Some ice. Some candlewax. (GETTING MORE INTO IT) Some rope. Some chains. Some whips. Some leather. Some ball-gags. Some clamps. Some pokers. (TOO INTO IT) A rack. A circular board I can be pinned to while darts are thrown at me. A Teletubbies outfit. A cactus with some lube on it. An iguana wearing a mask of Theresa May. And a recording of my Mum saying, "Oh, you dirty boy! You dirty, dirty, dirty boy!" (HEAVY BREATHING) What about you?

WOMAN: Erm... well... When I said I think we should do something new in the bedroom.

MAN: Yeah!?

WOMAN: I was thinking... Changing the wallpaper and painting the skirting board.

MAN: Oh... That'd be good too.

END

View original

I like it . Maybe too raunchy for them . You can write . Persist.

I like this sketch. It doesn't matter to me that the ending can be seen from the start, what I found funny was the escalation of the husbands desires. They start off fairly plain and get increasingly vivid and crazy as things go on.

What you could do is look at continuing his desires so that they become the punchline rather than it ending with the wife's decoration announcement. So something like for example:-

WOMAN: I was thinking... Changing the wallpaper and painting the skirting board.

MAN: So wallpaper paste and paint?

WOMAN: (Relieved) Yes exactly.

MAN: Hmmm...rubbing the paste all over me, painting my throbbing phallus, wallpaper scissors so sharp and exciting...

Ok perhaps not quite that wording, but you get the general idea.