https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_7vnB-jDGg

A recent sketch I made. Hope you enjoy, and check out my channel for more. Thanks for watching!

Haha, quite funny. You definitely have some good jokes in there. Could use a bit of polishing up... The timing and the transitions between shots could be fine-tuned.

Having had a bit of time to think about it, I'm going to expand on my earlier comment.

There were things I liked and didn't like about your sketch. What I particularly liked was the interaction between the male diner and the waiter. This is where all the best jokes came out, and this is where I laughed. Unfortunately, most of these jokes are just wordplay and puns, which is a bit of a waste in a video sketch. You could probably take the best bits from here and rephrase them as stand-up comedy to better result. Quick one-line jokes really aren't the purpose of a sketch.

The parts involving the girlfriend weren't particularly funny. Okay, she's a slob, and it's a bit over the top, but there isn't anything about it that really surprises the audience or catches them unawares. I feel like this was trying to give the sketch a bit of a plot arc (which many good sketches have), but ultimately it fell flat.

The last bit with the reporter was a bit of a throwaway. While that sort of thing can be used effectively in sketches, you have to be careful as too often they are used as a means to finish sketches that don't really have a good way to end, which is usually due to them being weak on plot (see above).

If you want to use the sketch as your medium you need to think of it as a small story. Present the situation. Introduce a problem. Play it out / resolve it. If you look at, say Monty Python, that's how all their best sketches play out - Dead Parrot for example.

Just a few thoughts. Really liked the wordplay but needed a bit more and felt disjointed as a result. Cheers.