Int. Police 'line up' viewing gallery.
A black man is brought in by a policeman.
Policeman: If you could please take a look at the suspects and identify which one attacked you.
The black man looks through the window and 5 policeman in uniform are shown standing against the wall.
ENDS
Or should this be tagged on?
Black man: 5
Policeman: Number 5?
Black man: No, all 5.
ENDS
No liked it as it is
Good and the ending is flexible its good with or with out it
I didn't really laugh I'm afraid, maybe I don't like line up sketches
It made me lol.
I thought both variations excellent.
Excellent - the first draft is superb. I can't think of anything to change, which is annoying!
Quote: Barbs @ February 20, 2008, 8:34 PMExcellent - the first draft is superb. I can't think of anything to change, which is annoying!
Oh don't worry Barbs. I'm sure someone will think of something? 
Sketches like this will always be funny and relevant.
You could, of course, have an old-fashioned line-up where the witness had to walk past the potential suspects and touch one on the shoulder.
The black man thus identifies one of the policemen and they ALL immediately commence kicking f**k out of him.
Just an added touch of realism.
Actually FoxyBox that's a good scenario!
Or 5 police men picking one black guy out of a line up, where the others are all pensioners/babies/urns of ashes.
"Is this the individual who dented your truncheons and scuffed your boots with his face,"
Good. I like it without the additional lines.
I wrote a similar one in the past, but with all the foils in identical long black burkhas.
By the way, this type of i.d.parade has also largely gone now. The police generally do video i.d.'s these days.
How about a video one... show 5 clips and a clip is an episode form Neighbours...."Is this the man?"
Next clip is Eastenders "Is this the man?"
Now that I like, you could have clips put together so each video says the same line.
First one, Winterlight. No need to change it. Very good.