| Rowan Atkinson |
Reverend Walter Goodfellow |
| Maggie Smith |
Grace Hawkins |
| Kristin Scott Thomas |
Gloria Goodfellow |
| Patrick Swayze |
Lance |
| Tamsin Egerton |
Holly Goodfellow |
| Toby Parkes |
Petey Goodfellow |
| Liz Smith |
Mrs. Parker |
| Emilia Fox |
Rosie Jones |
| James Booth |
Mr. Brown |
| Patrick Monckton |
Bob (Workman) |
| Rowley Irlam |
Ted (Workman) |
| Vivienne Moore |
Mrs. Martin |
| Murray McArthur |
Master of Ceremonies |
| Morgan Gower |
Reverend Campbell |
| Rupert Simonian |
Billy Martin (Bully) |
| Alex Macqueen |
Ticket Collector |
| Paul Viragh |
Policeman on Train |
| Tony Denham (as Anthony Denham) |
Police Interrogator |
| Roger Hammond |
Judge |
| Andy Jones (as Andrew Thomas Jones) |
Mark (Boyfriend 1) |
| Jack Ryan |
David (Boyfriend 2) |
| Nazim Kourgli |
Grant (Boyfriend 3) |
| Jack Zimmermann |
Jeremy (Boyfriend 4) |
| Terry Alderton |
Chat Show Host |
| David Schaal |
Chat Show Pundit |
| Chrissie Cotterill |
Chat Show Pundit |
| Rory Dorling |
Billy Martin's Gang |
| James Galloway |
Billy Martin's Gang |
| Max Murley |
Billy Martin's Gang |