Stop horsing around! Three horse racing jokes

Steptoe And Son. Image shows from L to R: Albert Steptoe (Wilfrid Brambell), Harold Steptoe (Harry H. Corbett). Copyright: BBC

Who doesn't love a good joke? When you turn to the world of the animal kingdom, there is lots of potential for some fun and amusing articles. As Royal Ascot gets underway, let's breakdown three horse-themed gags that you might not get if you don't know the world of horses...

A horse walks into a bar. The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but can't make him drink.

Is there a more classic joke set-up than a horse walking into a bar? There is so much potential surrounding this joke, and you can really take it in any direction that you can choose.

In this case, the creator of the joke decided to reference the well-known idiom "You can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink from it." In case you didn't pay attention in English lessons: An idiom is a figurative statement that has been passed down through generations, and they can make for some interesting wordplay (in addition to not translating into other languages at all well!).

In this case, the idiom refers to the fact that you can give someone an opportunity but it does not always mean that they will take it. Add in another level of humour here, since the barman had the opportunity to make a joke, and chose instead not to.

I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 - and it did! Unfortunately all the others came in at 12:30.

Maybe not something you want to say if you are going to be engaging in a little Royal Ascot betting, but an amusing scenario nonetheless. This joke requires you to have a little knowledge of the world of horse races.

With horse races will often come opportunity for placing bets. The odds of 10 to 1 would be a great win... 10 times what you bet! However, the person telling this joke did not have quite the luck you think that they might have. They put a bet on a horse to finish at "10 to 1", as in the time 12:50pm rather than the odds. However, all the other horses in the race finished at 12:30pm, 20 minutes earlier!

Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey? In case he takes offence.

Royal Ascot is actually a flat racing event... where all the horses need to do is run as far as they can. But later in the year, and at other meetings like The Grand National, there's sometimes jumps in the way of the finish line. These obstacles are often called fences. So you can see what they did there with that joke... although in reality you would want the jockeys to take the fence, or they wouldn't finish!

Though it can be quite serious at times, as you can see there is plenty of potential for jokes around horse racing. Anyone who considers themselves to be a comedy lover will no doubt have a few horse-related jokes up their sleeves. These could be as simple as a classic pun, or it could be a long and hilarious anecdote. It is time to be horsing around!

Published: Tuesday 15th June 2021

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