I've not met the wives or kids of my nephews (the two sons of my next younger brother), yet they must all be within 200 miles of here.

Quote: reds @ 30th April 2014, 12:51 PM BST

Is there any flour in them?

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No flour. Hopefully you'll have more luck than me.

Healthy Pancakes (2 Ingredients) - Video Recipe: http://youtu.be/IEzP_gMqc1o

Ben has a damn sore throat which he is attributing to a busy weekend stressing his immune system.

Retired.

Well done, has the government fitted you for your flat cap and high waisted trousers yet.

Quote: Oldrocker @ 30th April 2014, 9:15 PM BST

Retired.

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Woop! See you in 36 years...

Quote: sootyj @ 30th April 2014, 9:18 PM BST

Well done, has the government fitted you for your flat cap and high waisted trousers yet.

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Our Will Cam is my sartorial adviser, I leave the negotiations to him.

Quote: Oldrocker @ 30th April 2014, 9:52 PM BST

Our Will Cam is my sartorial adviser, I leave the negotiations to him.

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whose the wee fella.

Quote: sootyj @ 30th April 2014, 9:55 PM BST

whose the wee fella.

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At their age I would have thought all of them unless they go as soon as the first indications are felt.

How the &#\<$! did I get to Level 7 on E'Lance? Ah, well, back to Level 3 next week...

Is it a computer game?

Well done. Sounds good!

Quote: Marc P @ 1st May 2014, 11:25 AM BST

Is it a computer game?

Well done. Sounds good!

View original

One where you win REAL money, I think.

It's more like D&D with extra trolls.

Quote: Oldrocker @ 30th April 2014, 9:52 PM BST

Our Will Cam is my sartorial adviser, I leave the negotiations to him.

View original

OUR WILL CAM IS SITTING IN HIS PARLOUR, WEARING HIS USUAL FLAT CAP, BRACES AND AIR OF SHIFTLESNESS. HE'S ALSO WEARING A DAYGLO STRING VEST WITH Whore WRITTEN ON IT AND A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES SHAPED LIKE A COCK AND BALLS.
HE IS AIMING A SEMAPHORE LAMP OUT OF THE WINDOW, IT HAS AN APPLE CRUDELY PAINTED ON THE SIDE

MRS OUR WILL CAM, OOV
Will you stop flashing thou bloody semaphore lamp out of our only windy, you're giving yon pigeons epilepsy and they've dirted all down me drying.

OUR WILL CAM
Be quiet foul woman, I'm tweeting with my apple semaphore lamp. It's my now I'm a fashion impressario.

MRS OUR WILL CAM, OOV
You are not a ruddy fashion impressario you're a shiftless, idle, layabout.

OUR WILL CAM
Aye tell that, Old Cocker he's paying me for me designs. He's a brummie and that's half way to being a Londoner, as the pigeon flys.

MRS OUR WILL CAM, OOV
I despair of thee, what does thou want for thou tea.

OUR WILL CAM
I'm on the Dukan diet, so I'll have a Dook an' chips and several pints of mild.

MRS OUR WILL CAM, OOV
And who's going to sew your designs, Karl Lager-filled

OUR WILL CAM
I'm no fool, we're in the 3rd world oop north, so I hired some 4th world labour.

MRS OUR WILL CAM, OOV
You mean that mangy mutt, you mutton head.

OUR WILL CAM
Aye possible like

PAN POV TO SOOTYJ, WILL CAM'S FAITHFUL WHIPPET SITTING BY A SINGER SEWING MACHINE, WEARING A SARI

SOOTYJ
Woof

THE CEILING COLLAPSES LEAVING OUR WILL CAM SITTING BURIED UP TO HIS NECK IN RUBBLE HIS HEAD POINTING OUT, HIS SUNGLASSES AND FLAT CAP ON UPSIDE DOWN

OUR WILL CAM
Turned out shite again.