Sofie Hagen writing involuntary celibacy memoir

Tuesday 12th September 2023, 1:59pm by Jay Richardson

Sofie Hagen

Sofie Hagen is writing a memoir about sex, or rather about not having sex, and is appealing for contributors.

The comic, whose current show, Banglord, recounts affairs that she had with two other comics but who has been involuntarily celibate for nearly eight years, is penning the non-fiction account of her personal experience but is also seeking other stories through an online survey.

"I am writing this book because I don't ever see this topic being discussed in a nuanced and respectful way" the UK-based Danish comic posted on social media.

"I want to examine all the possible reasons behind us not having sex. From sexual trauma making us feel no longer safe in sex or in our bodies, to feeling shame about our bodies and not wanting to show it to people, to being a confused and anxious queer person who hasn't learned how to have sex outside of the heteronormative standard... to religious trauma, existing in a post-#MeToo world where we're suddenly relearning everything we thought we knew about consent, to gender confusion, neurodiversity and anything beyond and in between."

Hagen, who previously wrote the 2019 memoir Happy Fat: Taking Up Space In A World That Wants To Shrink You, about being a fat person, reassures potential contributors that her second book "will be funny/humorous as well as serious, but I will not be making fun of you or your situation".

She shares a trigger warning that "the questions below might bring up some traumatic memories relating to sexual violence, rape, fatphobia, racism, transphobia, homophobia and ableism. Only proceed if you are in a place where you can cope with this."

Here is the survey, which can be completed anonymously

Share this page