INT: COURTROOM

SKETCH STARTS WITH A ONE OF THE FIGHTERS WHO WAS JUST PULLED OUT OF THE PUB, HE IS A VERY LARGE, HAIRY TATTOOED MAN BEING WHO HAS TO BE DRAGGED INTO COURT AS HE MAKES A NASTY MENACE OF HIMSELF, TAUNTING HIS GUARDS AND SHRUGGING ALONG, HE EVEN SNEERS AT WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY HIS GRIEVING VICTIMS RELATIVES

THE COURT IS ASKED TO REMAIN SILENT AS THE JUDGE PASSES SENTENCE

CUE JUDGE KEV WHO IS A OLD SENILE LOOKING PENSIONER

JUDGE KEV:
For the heinous crimes committed by you, Mr Mark Hittal on July 12th 2006 of murder in the first degree of Miss Brown, Miss Siian, Mr and Mrs Kelly, Master Young, and the rape of Miss Sarah Closes, Sally Wright and Margaret Sales (pause) plus the near death of Mr Bob (pause again) the (said quietly and almost inaudibly) Gimp / I sentence you to……………………….

CUT TO THE ACCUSED SNARLING, LOOKING TOTALLY UNBOTHERED BY WHAT HE WILL BE SENT DOWN FOR

JUDGE KEV:
I sentence you to ……..BE GINGER

CUT TO THE ACCUSED

THE ACCUSED:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

THE GRIEVING RELATIVES JUMP UP WITH A ROAR OF DELIGHT AS IF THIS IS THE WORST SENTENCE HE COULD HAVE RECEIVED. THE COURT IS FULL OF APPLAUSE AS THE ACCUSED IS DRAGGED AWAY WAILING AND SCREAMING

Hi Scott - I would take out the mention of 'rape' personally - I know it might seem weird that murder is more acceptable but it quite simply is and it is a very strong word to put into anything you want someone to laugh at - it has to be a huge pay-off after the viewer hears that (again, my humblest of opinions and others may disagree). Idea is fine but I can't believe the ginger fraternity are taking another hit! ;o)
Andy (not ginger) W.

I thought it was OK. I think rape can be used if you want to use it but you could make the crimes more comical, if you use rape people will think the sketch is going to be a social comment.

Some technical detail, we don't have murder in the first degree in the UK you could say.

JUDGE KEV:
For the heinous crimes committed by you, Mr Mark Hittal you have been found guilty of 5 counts of causing the death of another human being under the Queen's peace with malice aforethought on July 12th 2006.

Hi, the crimes were just meant to sound really horrible and so they deserve a tough sentense which he got lol.