Does anybody get the weekly newsletter from Bob Servant? If you don't, you should. I've just cried laughing at the last one.

To get on the mailing list email bob AT bobservant.com. You really won't regret it.

It's the latest instalment of a fictional Scot and his eccentric chums and about a zillion times funnier than that sounds. PM me your email and I'll send you the latest instalment.

That offer's open to all, incidentally.