Spec idea for Dead Ringers. Featuring the X Factor judges
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GRAMS:“PARANOID” IS BLASTING OUT AT FULL REVS WITH OZZY IN FINE FORM
SHARON:
Ozzy! (PAUSE) Ozzy! (PAUSE) Ozzy!!
THE MUSIC STOPS
SHARON:
Thank you Ozzy I’m gonna stop you there
OZZY:
W-w-what d’yahmean babe?
SHARON:
We’ve heard enough thanks (PAUSE) Simon.
SIMON:
Quite frankly Ozzy it sounds dated.
OZZY:
You're f***ing joking man ain’t cha?
SIMON:
No Ozzy I’m not. It sounds like some kind of seventies metal band. So derivative
OZZY:
Oh no! I can’t believe you’re saying that man. This is my life’s work.
SIMON:
I’m sorry. It’s all old hat and it doesn’t do it for me (PAUSE) Louis?
LOUIS:
I don’t know Simon. I’m not so sure. I wouldn’t say dated… more “retro” I think.
OZZY:
Yeah man! Now you're talking! That’s it guy! Retro! (PAUSE) What the f**k does retro mean?
LOUIS:
It’s “dated”… but it’s good. It's where we in the business repackage something that’s been done before and try and pass it off as new. A bit like the entire career of Westlife or Jamie Cullum.
OZZY:
Yeah man!
LOUIS:
Sharon?
SHARON:
I like it. It has a familiar sound to it. Homely. It’s “yes” for me. Simon?
SIMON:
Well you know my opinion. I think it’s bloomin’ awful. It’s all be done before. It’s “no” for me I’m afraid.
OZZY:
Ah no man don’t say that. I was made for this business. What am I gonna do if you don’t let me through to the next round.
SIMON:
Well you could always make another multi-million dollar reality show or be kept by Sharon. I'm not sure she isn't a bigger star than you these days.
END:
