- Wednesday 19th December 2018, 7:49pm
- 4,103 posts
SCENE: interior. A somewhat down-at-heel living room
A WOMAN is sitting comfortably as a MAN enters, looking very pleased with himself.
MAN: Have I just done the deal of a lifetime, or what? Go on, ask me.
WOMAN: Have you just done the deal of a lifetime?
MAN: I have indeed, my angel. I have indeed.
WOMAN (WORRIED): Tell me it doesn't involve Dodgy Dave.
MAN: Dodgy Dave? I'm not that daft. It's Honest Harry.
(WOMAN doesn't look any less worried)
MAN (continued): How much are tampons?
WOMAN: Two quid for twenty, something like that.
MAN: I have just bought 1000 boxes of twenty for 300 quid.
WOMAN: There's got to be a catch.
MAN: This is Honest Harry and "Honest Harry never tells a lie". You know his motto. He never lies.
WOMAN: He swears there's no catch?
MAN: I gave him the money, he shook my hand, looked me straight in the eye and told me there are no strings attached.
WOMAN: He said what?
MAN: Look, he never tells a lie so I don't want to hear another word about it.
WOMAN: Okay, if you say so but I think he might soon be getting a new nickname - Ambiguous 'Arry.
MAN: I don't think so. I know for a fact he's only got the one missus.