ADAM: [ADVERTISING VOICEOVER TONE THROUGHOUT] Why are you wasting time with shampoo and conditioner?
JACK: Pardon me?
ADAM: [TINY BIT MORE AGGRESSIVE] Why are you wasting so much time using shampoo and conditioner?
JACK: Err, dunno. Sorry, mate.
ADAM: Isn't it time you gave some body to that lank, lifeless hair?
JACK: Yeah, sure. I'll bear that in mind.
ADAM: [LOUDER] Why are you still paying over the odds for your car insurance? Eh?
JACK: Look, look, we don't want any trouble, OK? Let's just-
ADAM: Do you want a tampon that will free you from monthly misery?
JACK: Yeah, alright, mate, leave the lady out of this.
ADAM: [SHOUTING] Isn't it time you gave yourself over to luxuriant full-bodied coffee?
JACK: [STERN] Are you looking for hassle?
ADAM: [SHOUTING] I'm offering you a great deal!
JACK: [SHOUTING] I promise, you do not want to set me off!
ADAM: [SHOUTING] 20% off! 20% off!
JACK: [SHOUTING] Right! That's it! Outside, if you want make something of it!
ADAM: [QUIET] Err, yes. Right. I'll fight you [LOW & VERY QUICK] Terms and conditions apply. Fight may not occur. Antagonists reserve the right to climb out of the toilet window. Brown trousers can go up as well as down. Bye.
JACK: [DEEP EXHALATION] He really wound me up.
NAOMI: Jack! You're waving your fists at me! Your knuckles.
NAOMI: That's how white I'd like my shirts.
JACK: [ADVERTISING VOICEOVER TONE] The whitest whites, with new Zim Automatic.
NAOMI: [BEAT] Who are you talking to?
JACK: I don't know, to be honest. I probably shouldn't have taken all that coke.
NAOMI: I want a divorce.