Hey All

Haven't tried writing radio sketch comedy in a long time. Here's a (slightly pretentious) sketch I rewrote recently. Looking forward to your thoughts/threats.

ATMOS: MEDIEVAL FEAST.

KING: Gorge yourselves, my subjects. The bounty of my lands lie before you on my table. More wine, servant.

SERVANT: At once, your majesty... Erm, your majesty, may I ask a quick question?

KING: That you may, loyal servant. That you may.

SERVANT: Right. Are you... a dictator?

KING: Sorry?

SERVANT: Well, you're the absolute ruler of the state, are you not? Kind of... It is that not what a dictator is?

KING: Ah, I forget the peasant-class aren't so well versed in constitutional matters. Very well I shall explain - Whilst it's true I hold absolute power much as a Dictator would, what you're failing to take into account is I... have a shiny hat.

SERVANT: What? Your crown?

KING: Indeed. See, dictators have flatter hats made of soft stuff. Whereas I, a King, have a hard hat that's all sparkly. A bloodthirsty dictator, with his soft hat, will mercilessly pillage and rape his own lands. Whereas I, a good King, will mercilessly pillage and rape my lands. But while possessing a shiny hat. Do you see?

SERVANT: Ah, I... think I get it? Well thanks for answering my question, my Liege. Quite lovely of you.

KING: Oh, not at all, not at all, not at all. Guards, take this servant to the tower, will you.

F/X: STRUGGLING WITH GUARDS.

SERVANT: What! Hey! You can't have me murdered for questioning you!

KING: Dear me, no! That is something a dictator would do! I wouldn't have you murdered for questioning me. I'm a King. I'm having you executed for treason.

SERVANT: Ah. Fair enough then. (WHILE BEING DRAGGED AWAY) Enjoy the meal, everyone!

END

Cheers to anyone who replies!

Yo Yacob.

Radio and Medieval? This sort of thing is right up my ally. Good man!

My critique, for what it's worth -

Bang solid idea. Hats indicative of type of leader is ace. What I'd say at this point, is can it be manifested better rather than it being revealed through a simple conversation?

Putting no time in, these may be shoddy points but perhaps he can:

a) swap hats depending upon circumstance. Instead of a servant, he's a peasant being arrested. "This is a dicatatorship!" Etc. We know it's going bad when the king says "Fetch the pointy one" or something?

b)Following that - maybe the crime is a peasant having a new hat of his own.

Both of them may be awful - but if there's a more fun way of the idea exposition, it'll add another layer.

Crikey - Exposition and layers? Must've read a book recently. I apologise wholeheartedly.

Thanks Flavian.

My initial thought is that your ideas might be rather complicated and convoluted for a radio sketch. And it might be kind of hard to tell the audience that hats are being changed without the dialogue becoming rather wooden as I'd have to have characters explain that hats are being changed, what the hats were and what the hats meant.

I could be wrong. Tired now njiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

P.S. I'm not saying that my sketch is particularly good (or terrible) as is, just in my head right now I don't see how going in Flavian's direction would work without a lot of explanation.

Fair points Yacob (they weren't thought out too much, that's for sure!) I'm just always keen to steer radio sketches away from the '1 person doing, 1 person asking'.

Also, I'd probably try to jemmy in an extra joke or two.

Horrible Histories meets radio. I like the topic and the jokes, some sound directions would be good. The bustling background could suddenly stops when he says the wrong thing, then a sole clattering metal plate at another awkward point. But hey if you've got a shiny hat I guess that doesn't matter. Liked it.

I really liked it

My only point is the last line. At first, I thought I didn't get it but then I realised that it wasn't a punch line. I do like his blarzey (I can't spell that word) attitude though.

But you could defo do more of an ending joke - If I think of one, I might get back to you.

OK, so I changed my mind about a punchline but my favourite bit is how blarzey the peasant is about getting killed. So I've reworked it a bit with the peasant being more in character with the last line - 2nd to last line from the servant isn't very good but I think it's an interesting idea for you anyway

ATMOS: MEDIEVAL FEAST.

KING: Gorge yourselves, my subjects. The bounty of my lands lie before you on my table. More wine, servant.

SERVANT: Sure, your majesty... Btw, may I ask a quick question?

KING: That you may, loyal servant. That you may.

SERVANT: Cheers dude. So, are you like ... a dictator?

KING: Sorry?

SERVANT: Well, you're like the boss or whatever, of all the people, the absolute ruler of the state, all that. Kind of... It is that not what a dictator is?

KING: Ah, I forget the peasant-class aren't so well versed in constitutional matters. Very well I shall explain - Whilst it's true I hold absolute power much as a Dictator would, what you're failing to take into account is I... have a shiny hat.

SERVANT: Oh that crown thing?

KING: Indeed. See, dictators have flatter hats made of soft stuff. Whereas I, a King, have a hard hat that's all sparkly. A bloodthirsty dictator, with his soft hat, will mercilessly pillage and rape his own lands. Whereas I, a good King, will mercilessly pillage and rape my lands. But while possessing a shiny hat. Do you see?

SERVANT: Gotcha. Well ta for answering me question, me Liege. Quite lovely of you.

KING: Oh, not at all, not at all, not at all. Guards, take this servant to the tower, will you.

F/X: STRUGGLING WITH GUARDS.

SERVANT: Hey dude! So, I'm getting murdered is it, just for me question?

KING: Dear me, no! That is something a dictator would do! I wouldn't have you murdered for questioning me. I'm a King. I'm having you executed for treason.

SERVANT: Ah. Fair enough then. (WHILE BEING DRAGGED AWAY) Enjoy the meal, everyone!

END

Thanks for the comments so far. I like the idea of changing the manner in which the servant speaks to show an upper-class / lower-class divide but I think him saying things like dude may be going too far.

Nice idea Yacob.
I think it would benefit from there being a reason the servant asked the question in the first place, as is, it seems it's just a way for the king to get to talk about his hats. This 'reason' could then be in the punch at the end perhaps.