Commentator: Where filthy athletes, do their country proud, by turning something innocent into something dirty.
Kicking off the games, a young man from England... Leevil!
"I had to squeeze the knob hard, to get a reaction."
6 * 7 * 6 * 10 * 5 * 5
39 points for England.
Commentator: This young man must be proud, look at him rub dick on his head, Dick being his father.
"You've got to stroke the old fella, gently at first, but he likes it as you get a little faster and rougher. ... Poor old dog, starting to lose it a bit."
I'm sorry but I don't think I'll be able to contribute anything here.
Quote: David Chapman @ September 8, 2007, 12:09 PMI'm sorry but I don't think I'll be able to contribute anything here.
10 * 10 * 10 * 10 * 09
COMMENTATOR: Originally competing in the Games of '35, still able to roll with the young fellas, Chapman here can still knock on off.
I just think that if anyone doesn't perform I'll have to pull them off.
In the swimming we should give them a few lengths and in the long distance I think that we'd better watch out for the tail enders to be lapped.
COMMENTATOR:
The final competitor left standing in the 200 meters Bondage Steeplechase is Jude from England. With whips, handcuffs, assorted weaponry, full-on Goth gear, makeup and scary heels, Jude has managed to restrain all the other competitors.
JUDE:
I knew my tying things up 'thing' would come in useful one day.
It's not just about pulling the oars as fast as possible, advised the Captain of the British Rowing (Whoring) Team
I'll go for quantity rather quality.
Here inside Stewart Storey's box (1) I can see the javelin's proudly arching over there (2) while the Russian vaulters are taken to the heavens by the poles (3). The big Belgian down there is loosing his shot (4) and on the track I can see that the plucky Brit is just behind the American and is looking to come through (5). Wait, what's this? Why, it appears that a few athletes are having sex with eachother.
And the mens german olympic javelin are standing proud with the weapons sitting comfortably in once hand looking to enjoy tossing them off later as far as they can.
There was a little cause for concern when earlier team captain Hans Neeznbumpzeedaze nearly had someones eye out with his. So anyone in the crowd had better watch out there a load of dangerous pricks on the loose in the field tonight.