British Comedy Guide

Sitcom idea!

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stevyweevy

  • Tuesday 12th June 2012, 1:06pm
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 11 posts

Hey,
Bit of a newby, if anything happy that I've worked out dropboxes public link thingy. Have an idea and episode I'm happy to put out there. Slaughter it, give constructive criticism, I'm easy. Great to have people who can critically read this stuff.

Changes (working title)

Logline
Forlorn and forty-something JOHN surfaces from his quiet life in the burbs to start a new life in an inner-city block of four. Befriending his 20 and 30-something neighbours, the intergenerational trio navigate the absurdities of modern life together.

Synopsis
His wounds still raw from a recent divorce, JOHN finds it's a brave new world, and things have changed dramatically since he was last a bachelor. He quickly befriends his next-door neighbors, 30-something KATE and 20-something MAX, who share his singledom and a love of shooting the breeze over a few drinks at the back yard table.

JOHN'S move into the block acts as a catalyst, where the folly of youth and the wisdom of age collide(well sort of). The unlikely trio tackle the curiosities of contemporary cohabitation including Internet dating, Christian rock, food obsessions and high tech society, to name a few.

"Changes" goes against the current trend of the subtle mockumentary: it's a back-to-basics situation comedy with a surrealist twist. The series uses the quotidian reality of the characters' friendships and lives to suspend disbelief in a world that is shamelessly silly yet ultimately familiar to "adults" of all ages. Being a bit left of center, Changes' natural home would be the BBC2 or 2.

This is a later episode.

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/15234715/Ep_4_Loveline_draft%20v0.1.pdf

Thanks,
Stevyweevy

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Marc P

  • Tuesday 12th June 2012, 1:08pm
  • England
  • 17,698 posts

ANy sitcom that uses the quotidian reality of characters' friendships gets a big thumbs up from me! :)

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Newman

  • Tuesday 12th June 2012, 2:37pm
  • England
  • 16 posts

this is a really great line:

"(to Daria) For me a good time transcends minority groups."

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stevyweevy

  • Wednesday 13th June 2012, 11:54am [Edited]
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 11 posts

Thanks! I think!

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Goose24

  • Thursday 14th June 2012, 6:10am
  • Southampton >> Sydney >>> Wellington, New Zealand
  • 139 posts

'Tis good. Nice to see a decently written tidy sitcom on here.

Kate reminds me of Penny from 'Happy Endings' :)

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Newman

  • Thursday 14th June 2012, 3:27pm
  • England
  • 16 posts

This is pretty good. Good ideas, sharp dialogue and has a good pace. I think it's the best I've read on here.

Patio grooves and pepper spray are were the notably good ideas for me.

Reading 'dood' became a bit annoying; I thought the Casablanca references were a bit pointless and I think there could be a few more jokes in there, which would be my main criticism.

Also if it's presumably set in Australia then I'd be surprised if it got picked up by a UK channel. Good luck with it.

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stevyweevy

  • Tuesday 19th June 2012, 5:06am
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 11 posts

Thanks for the encouragement, so useful when you're writing in a bubble, will take those comments back to the drawing board as it defo needs more development. Thinking of pitching to the ABC, less comepetition by the sounds of things.
Many thanks,
My post another up at a later date.
Cheers,
Steve