Hi there!

Liquid Lunch, a new six-part comedy web series, is now live. It's about two guys who regularly meet in the pub to break up the monotony of their working day but when they realise life is passing them by, they decide to do something about it.

You can watch episodes 1 & 2 (approx 2mins each) on the main website:

http://www.liquidlunch.co.uk

Or directly via YouTube http://bit.ly/kWt9xB http://bit.ly/lFVdKV

And on my blog I detail how the project came together from idea, writing, casting, production and filming.

http://www.dannystack.com

New webisodes every Friday. If you had time to check it out, that'd be great, thanks!

Cheers! Danny

Sorry Danny this didn't really work for me. I didn't like the sighing character with the flat delivery, so didn't really care for his predicament. And the fat bloke only has the one joke where he talks about food in response to the other guys comments. I think it needs a lot more jokes as the drama isn't strong enough, and pace it up - the two would probably go together. Sorry to be a bit negative, you've obviously put a bit of work in. But 2 mins can be a very short time but it can also be a long time. Maybe you could play around with the editing rather than the kind of proscenium arch presentation that you have at the moment?

Best of luck with it all
Marc

Thanks for the feedback, Marc! Sorry it didn't work for you. I hope you'll stick with it as the characters & story really get going from ep3. The visual style is intentional as I was going for clean & simple, almost like an online comic strip, but I really appreciate your comments, thanks! Always interesting and valuable to get good, constructive feedback.

Well I'll look forward to Wednesdays.

Quote: Marc P @ May 27 2011, 2:34 PM BST

Sorry Danny this didn't really work for me. I didn't like the sighing character with the flat delivery, so didn't really care for his predicament. And the fat bloke only has the one joke where he talks about food in response to the other guys comments. I think it needs a lot more jokes as the drama isn't strong enough, and pace it up - the two would probably go together. Sorry to be a bit negative, you've obviously put a bit of work in. But 2 mins can be a very short time but it can also be a long time. Maybe you could play around with the editing rather than the kind of proscenium arch presentation that you have at the moment?

Best of luck with it all
Marc

View original

Sorry it wasn't for you Marc, I can understand someone feeling that the first episode is light on gags, especially compared to the rest of the series.

I would love for you to stick around for a couple more episodes just to see if the later episodes change your mind. But I'd understand if you didn't want to.

I will say in his defence that Chris's "Flat delivery" was entirely intentional, his character has just been dumped. That character picks up as the episodes move on.

Anyway, thanks for giving us a chance.

-- Dan (AKA: The Fat One)

I found them to have something special, but the gags lacked a little punch. I'm prepared to give the other episodes a go.
Thought they were well made.

It was all right.

I liked the one shot style. It just didn't provoke any laughs, a few well placed gags wouldn't go a miss.

Promising.

Quote: sirdandan @ May 27 2011, 6:16 PM BST

Sorry it wasn't for you Marc, I can understand someone feeling that the first episode is light on gags, especially compared to the rest of the series.

I would love for you to stick around for a couple more episodes just to see if the later episodes change your mind. But I'd understand if you didn't want to.

I will say in his defence that Chris's "Flat delivery" was entirely intentional, his character has just been dumped. That character picks up as the episodes move on.

Anyway, thanks for giving us a chance.

-- Dan (AKA: The Fat One)

View original

Sorry Fat One - my bad. But I was using the expression to highlight a slightly one dimensionness (I can invent words) of character. Not really meaning that you were or are if you see what I mean. I for one didn't like Smithy either. And as to flatness - you have to get the audience to care, four minutes is ample time to change channels, and as you are not going for subtle here I'd recommend punching flat out from the beginning. Think of George from Seinfeld, he'd be angry if he was dumped and be funny with it. This is the first time we have met this character so we don't care if he has been dumped or not. My tip would be to have the dumping as the final reveal - make us care first, make us empathise with the guy. I know this is too late for me to be saying it - and this is in showcase not critique but I guess you did want some honest feedback. Not meaning to be mean. And will look forward to watching the next ep and see what happens.
Marc