Naturewatch. The Flycatcher- Sketch.

I'm feeling unsure. I need advice.

EXT. MEADOW. DAY.

IT IS A SUNNY DAY. WE ARE AT A MEADOW WHICH IS PART OF A NATURE RESERVE. BILL IS TALKING TO MARTIN WHO IS AN EXPERT ON SPOTTED FLYCATCHERS.

BILL: When did you realise that you had a special fondness for these birds.

MARTIN: When I was fourteen and I had just started bird watching. It was the first bird that I looked up in my first field guide.

BILL: And from then on it was love? Am I right?

MARTIN: Sort of.

BILL: Martin is going to help us to get close up to this remarkable bird arent’ you Martin?

MARTIN: Yes Bill, to enable you to see the bird close up, we will have to bury you in this soil in front of the Flycatcher’s favourite perch which is on the end of that spade. You should get a good view from there.

CUT TO MOUND OF EARTH. WE HEAR BILL’S VOICE FROM THE MOUND.

BILL: (O.O.V) It’s a bit hot and stuffy in here, but in a couple of hours when we have seen this lovely little bird, it will have all been worth it. I best keep quiet now.

CAMERA STILL ON MOUND

CAPTION: ONE HOUR LATER.

BILL: (O.O.V) Nothing yet. I ‘m feeling a little drowsy...

CAMERA STILL ON MOUND.

CAPTION: FIVE HOURS LATER. SOUNDMAN WALKS INTO SHOT AND BEGINS TO SPEAK TO THE MOUND.

SOUNDMAN: Bill. Bill can you hear me?

F/X WE HEAR MUFFLED SCREAMS. RESEMBLING THE WORDS “I CAN’T BREATH”.

CAMERAMAN: What did he say?

SOUNDMAN: (To cameraman) I think we’d better get him out.

THE SOUND MAN AND CAMERAMAN BEGIN TO REMOVE THE EARTH FROM THE MOUND. BILL IS NOT THERE.

SOUNDMAN: Where is he?

CAMERAMAN: I don’t know. I think that’s where we buried him.

CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL THREE MOUNDS OF EARTH ABOUT TEN YARDS EITHER SIDE.

SOUNMAN RUNS TO ANOTHER MOUND AND REVEALS BILL. BILL IS UNCONSCIOUS. HE LAYS HIM DOWN AND TRIES TO HEART MASSAGE HIM.

SOUNDMAN: (To cameraman) Have you got a plaster? He’s got a nasty cut on his finger. And some TCP.

WHILE THEY ARE ATTENDING TO BILL. THE FLYCATCHER PERCHES ON THE END OF THE SPADE.

i like this. it's defo got legs. however it'd benefit from some trimming (and a spell check - tut tut!) - maybe lose a couple of lines from the opening exchange? i'd also stress the need for Bill to remain quiet:

SOME EARTH SPRAYS INTO THE AIR AS BILL GASPS FOR AIR

SOUNDMAN
For Christ's sake Bill be quiet!

BILL
(MUFFLED) But i can't breathe!

Just thoughts. You've posted some really nice sketches recently.

i guessed the bird would be watching them. Bird Watching!!

I liked Nick's ending too.