INT: TORCHWOOD
CAPTAIN JACK IS BUSY AT THE CAMPUTER AS OWEN (THE PALE SQUINTY ONE)ENTERS.
OWEN: Jack! We've got an emergency.
JACK GRABS OWEN AND GIVES HIM A LONG LINGERING KISS.
JACK: What is it Owen. Spit it out.
OWEN: The Zygons are here they've got Torchwood surrounded it's only a matter of time before they breach security.
JACK: (INTO TANNOY) Gwen,Ianto I need you both here now. We've got a code 2 on our hands.
JACK: If theres one thing Zygons don't like it's being Bummed, that may be our best chance.
OWEN: That's your answer to everything Jack, but It's not that simple this time It's not only Zygons, we've picked up a Cyberman attack ship on the scanner as well.
JACK: This is worse than I thought, Cybermen don't even have a Bum. It's like that time we had to open up all those Daleks just to jerk them off.
GWEN & IANTO ENTER.
JACK (CONT) Hold on I thought Ianto was the Chinese one.
IANTO: No that's Tosh.
JACK: Who cares? & I don't mean the doctor.
GWEN: What's going on Jack ? Did I hear someone say Zygons ? do you want me to get my strap on ?
JACK GIVES GWEN & THEN IANTO A LONG LINGERING KISS.
JACK: It's worse than that Gwen, Theres some Cybermen as well.
IANTO: But Cybermen don't even have a ..
JACK: Don't you think I know that? we need a new plan.
GWEN: They did have a weakness back in the seventies, not sure if it still applies now but it may as well. Don't they have an aversion to Gold ?
JACK: I think that's it! Gwen, have we still got that Gold dildo we used to defeat the Lesbian robot queen.
GWEN: I'll get straight on it.
TO BE DISCONTINUED
